Mina Starsiak Hawk Says Therapist Helped Avoid Holiday Conflict with Husband Steve
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HGTV star Mina Starsiak Hawk has credited her therapist for helping her and her husband, Steve Hawk, avoid a potential conflict over differing holiday plans.
In the latest episode of her Mina AF podcast, the former Good Bones host talked about how the holidays can put a strain on relationships, especially when it comes to organizing family get-togethers.
“Your person is your person, and they’re there all year long, so trying to keep that connection and respect and balance during the holidays can be really hard,” she said, per People.
The potential conflict arose after Mina and Steve, who share two young children, received two separate invites for holiday gatherings, one from Mina’s sister and one from Steve’s grandmother and uncle.
“My very thoughtful sister plans very far in advance,” Mina explained. “So she sent out a spreadsheet with the pajama sizes and the activities for Thanksgiving through Christmas, probably in, like, September.”
When Steve mentioned spending the holidays with his family, Mina said she “wasnt prepared for that.”
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“Because I have this long email of this event that I ordered pajamas for six years ago,” she stated. “And it’s also a super challenging conversation because Steve’s family is very small. The anniversary of his dad’s passing is tomorrow.”
Steve’s father died in 2018 after falling down the stairs; six months earlier, he lost his mother to stomach cancer. Then, in 2020, his sister Stefanie died of ethanol poisoning.
“Every conversation around Steve’s family is so loaded for him, and therefore loaded for me, because I care so much about making sure he’s feeling loved on the holidays because he has so fewer people that are his core group that thought he was the world, that he was everything,” Mina shared.
Fortunately, the couple avoided the situation turning into a fight due to advice from their therapist, who gave them a new perspective. It all started after Steve used the phrase “in a perfect world.”
“She lit us up, both of us,” Mina said. “She was like, ‘What do you mean, in a perfect world? You guys are living in the perfect world. Your kids will never love you more. Your health will never be better. You’re financially stable.’ She went on and on and on.”
The therapist also told the couple to stop “playing this game of ping-pong,” telling them, “The ball’s going back and forth three times. You guys are going back and forth eight times, you’re getting in the weeds, and that’s whats causing arguments, that’s what’s causing fights, so think about the things before you say them.”
Mina said the therapist’s advice stuck with her and Steve, and it allowed them to come to a happy compromise for the holidays.
“We just kind of landed on compromising and trying our best to do both,” she explained. “If we’re a little bit past the kids’ bedtime, that’s okay, because I know them seeing your grandma and getting to know her a little bit more as well as being able to be with all their cousins; those things are both important to us.”
Mina has previously opened up about the tensions within her own family, particularly with her brother, Tad Starsiak, and her mother and former Good Bones co-star, Karen E. Laine.
