Best Lines on TV This Week (August 12-18):'Morty, I'm A Drunk Not A Hack'
Rick and Morty
Morty: "Rick, is-is this a Saw thing?! Are you seriously Saw-ing the Vindicators?!"
Rick: "Morty, I'm a drunk, not a hack."
Rick’s recording: "You break the rules, lose the game, or try to leave, you will die! Like in (burps) SAAAAAAAAW!"
Rick: "Well, I think we’ve seen enough! I'll just figure out how to unplug this!"
-Morty (Justin Roiland) and Rick (Justin Roiland) arguing after getting caught in a deathtrap Rick designed in a drunken stupor.
Somewhere Between
Nico: "You should work for me. The hour's are long, but the pay is low."
-Nico (Devon Sawa) jokingly entices Laura (Paula Patton) with a job offer.
Difficult People
Julie: "Arthur can do it all. He’s just like Justin Timberlake without having to constantly prove himself."
-Julie (Julie Klausner) comments on the virtues of her boyfriend.
Ray Donovan
Abby: "You're going to talk to a hooker on our anniversary?"
Ray: "Yeah."
-Abby (Paula Malcomson) questions Ray’s (Liev Schreiber) choices.
The Bold Type
Kat: "Are you drunk?"
Jane: "Yeah, I had an assignment that involved cocktails and I'm tiny."
-Jane (Katie Stevens) explains her inebriated state to Kat (Aisha Dee).
Marlon
Marlon: "Stevie, you asked to crash on my couch or two weeks. Brother, it’s been two years."
-Marlon (Marlon Wayans) sets the record straight for his buddy
Bachelor In Paradise
Chris: "So let’s get this season started. A season that I can definitely say will go down in Bachelor history as the most shocking and yes, dramatic season ever."
-Chris (Chris Harrison) prefaces the show by addressing the scandal that went down.
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