Best Lines of the Week (March 16-22): ‘What’s All This Cocaine Doing at School?’

arrow - left
arrow - right
Best Lines
Bobs Burgers, best lines

Bob’s Burgers

Gene: “What’s all this cocaine doing at school? Throw it away!”
— Gene (Eugene Mirman) attempts to discreetly discard the dust from the school’s drywall as the Belcher kids look for the secret ceramics room.

best lines, survivor
Robert Voets/CBS

Survivor: Ghost Island

Donathan: “I actually take care of my grandmother. She had two strokes, and that’s on my mind today.”
— Donathan Hurley opens up to tribe mate Laurel Johnson in an emotional conversation of him missing his family who he takes care of back home.

Modern Family, best lines
Ron Tom/ABC

Modern Family

Claire: “Sorry honey, you’re just you’re doing that thing where you look like a really intense baby deer.”
Phil: “Oh, the scarier you try to be the more adorable you are!”

— When the family takes a trip to the wine country and stays in Haley’s (Sarah Hyland) boss’ house, Haley sternly lays out the house rules. Unfortunately, for her, her big doe eyes can’t intimidate parents Claire (Julie Bowen) and Phil (Ty Burrell).

Versace, best lines
Ray Mickshaw/FX

The Assassination of Gianni Versace

Andrew: “I bragged to my friends about your success. You were everything to me dad. But it’s a lie. And if you’re a lie, then I’m a lie, and I can’t be a lie.”
— Serial killer Andrew Cunanan (Darren Criss) has an intense face-off with father Modesto over his father’s lies.

iZombie, best lines
Shane Harvey/ The CW


Ravi: “Liv, I’m trying to channel Prince William, and you sound like a garbage disposal with a vocal fry.”
— Ravi prepares to go undercover to catch a serial killer, and Liv’s (Rose McIver) cockney accent throws him off.

The Walking Dead, best lines
Gene Page/AMC

The Walking Dead

Simon: “We must expunge them. We must redact them! They are a mistake that we shall now erase. We are moving on. For Negan!”
— With the Saviors believing Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) to be dead, Simon (Steven Ogg) snatches the opportunity to rally them and attack Hilltop.

The Magicians, best lines
Eric Milner/Syfy

The Magicians

Josh: “We’re inside a Tesla Section.”
Julie: “Is that a car?”
Josh: “It’s a device that allows you to communicate across timelines.”
Julie: “Like alternate universes type sh*t?”
— Josh (Trevor Einhorn) looks to Julie (Stella Maeve) for answers when they find themselves in an alternate timeline.

Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, best lines

Full Frontal with Samantha Bee

Samantha: “Trump’s considering firing Mueller the way you consider ordering a third margarita on girls’ night.”
— Samantha Bee pokes fun at the president and White House happenings.

rise, josh radnor
Virginia Sherwood/NBC


Lou: “I think I can help you dig deeper. And as good as you are, I think you could be better. I think you could be extraordinary.”
— Lou (Josh Radnor) gives Gwen (Amy Forsyth) some advice about improving her singing.

Tom Sandoval, best lines
Tommy Garcia/Bravo

Vanderpump Rules

Tom: “I’m a manscaping chameleon.”
— Tom Sandoval is confident in his ability to adapt his beauty routine to any environment.

1 of

From a drama-filled episode of The Walking Dead to the Belcher children’s antics on Bob’s Burgers, this week was filled with entertainment for all audiences.

Click through the gallery above to see our 10 favorite lines on TV of the week!