Best Lines of the Week (October 23-30): 'I Felt Like an Intruder, You Made Me Feel at Home'

The Goldbergs, This Is Us, Grand Army
ABC; NBC; Jasper Savage / Netflix

Premieres, pilots and returning favorites — this week, TV lovers of all ages, interests and backgrounds were treated to some new episodes of all kinds of shows. We laughed at Conan (and with him), cried with the Johnsons on black-ish and were given words of wisdom from The Goldbergs.

All the while, This Is Us kicked off its fifth season with emotional twists and turns that shook up more than just the Pearson family, and the world was introduced to the chilling drama of Brooklyn high school students on Grand Army.

Check out the gallery to see what lines from TV this week truly reeled us in.

Saturday Night Live, NBC, Season 46, Episode 4
NBC

Saturday Night Live (NBC)

“If any of you see J.K. Rowling, tell her to stick to the books.”

– In a skit about a fortune teller, set in 2019, Kate McKinnon alerts the customers to warn J.K. Rowling about some off-the-cuff comments made about the Harry Potter series in the future (a.k.a. 2020).

Black-ish, ABC, Season 7 Episode 2
ABC

Black-Ish (ABC)

“How am I supposed to help the kids with their homework and make sure they’re eating their vegetables and get my work done and keep this house running?”

– Andre (Anthony Anderson) expresses to his family about his worries and his struggle to adjust to life during the pandemic in an honest, relatable manner.

The Undoing, Nicole Kidman, HBO, Season 1 Episode 1
HBO

The Undoing (HBO)

“Thank you so much for making me feel so welcome. … I felt like an intruder, you made me feel at home.”

– Elena (Matilda De Angelis), fully nude in right in Grace’s (Nicole Kidman) nervous line of eyesight, gushes about the comfort level she feels around the woman … and all the women in their gym’s locker room.

 

This Is Us, NBC, Season 5 Episode 2
NBC

This Is Us (NBC)

I know who Madison is, Beth. She’s literally the only friend in our entire family.”

– In a tongue-and-cheek manner, Randall (Sterling K. Brown) notes that Madison (Caitlin Thompson) is the only person within the ever-growing Pearson family who is not actually a Pearson.

 

Conan, TBS, Season 10 Episode 95
TBS

Conan (TBS)

“What happened to us!? We’ve become this garage band that drives around. We’ve got our van and we parked it in an alley and someone broke in and someone took our amps. What is that!?

Conan O’Brien finds humor in the absurdity of his show having its laptops and slate board burglarized the night before filming.

Fargo, FX, Season 4 Episode 6
FX

Fargo (FX)

“Whose side are you on? It’s a simple question. Last time I checked, I’m the boss. Except, every time I turn around, you’re following someone else’s orders, so I got the right to wonder … am I your boss or are you his boy? 

– Josto Fadda (Jason Schwartzman) questions a gang member’s loyalty as he hatches a plan to kidnap Loy Cannon’s (Chris Rock) son.

Grand Army, Netflix, Season 1 Episode 1
Jasper Savage / Netflix

Grand Army (Netflix)

“I’m going to teach you things you’ll never forget.”

– Cryptic words are typed across the screen at the end of Grand Army’s pilot episode. Who is typing them, and what they mean, is a mystery.

Guy's Grocery Games, Food Network, Season 25, Episode 4
Food Network

Guy's Grocery Games: Home Delivery (Food Network)

“We have more Triple G all stars ready to compete in our kitchens, only if we can get Cowboy out of the way” 

Guy Fieri steps over his sleeping pet German Shepherd, Cowboy, as he hosts GGG from his own kitchen.

The Goldbergs, Season 8, Episode 1, ABC
ABC

The Goldbergs (ABC)

“Maya Angelou, bro. She read a poem and did a kamikaze shot. She knows why the caged bird parties.”

– Barry Goldberg (Troy Gentile) brags to Geoff Schwartz (Sam Lerner) about the “life changing” Pennsylvania College of the East events that he’s missing because he lives off campus.