Best Lines of the Week (July 14-20): ‘Jesus Still Loves Me’

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Showtime/USA/The CW

Suits (USA)

“Rachel, call me as soon as you get this. It happened. And by it I mean…Oh sh*t I gotta go!”

—Donna (Sarah Rafferty) calls Rachel to talk about her and Harvey’s big moment.


The Loudest Voice (Showtime)

“I need complete editorial control of Fox News. Complete. And if you can’t make me that promise, you’re forcing me to quit and go and work for someone else who can.”

—Roger (Russell Crowe) gets fed up with Rupert (Simon McBurney) after Rupert calls his coverage “irresponsible.”


The Bachelorette (ABC)

“I have had sex, and Jesus still loves me.”

—Hannah delivers the line heard ’round the world to Luke P.


Sweetbitter (Starz)

Tess: The pig trusted the farmer.

Simone: That’s what pigs do.

Tess: That’s not me.

—Tess (Ella Purnell) opens up to Simone (Caitlin Fitzgerald) after they witness a pig being slaughtered for the restaurant.


Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (Netflix)

Eddie: Do you really have to pee?

Jerry: Who pees as a joke?

—Jerry Seinfeld asks Eddie Murphy permission to use his bathroom before they go get coffee.


Moon Landing: The Lost Tapes (History)

“We weren’t really that concerned about safety. It was a matter of mission success. The nation was staking its reputation on Apollo 11. A failure to complete the landing would undoubtedly result in a certain tarnish on the US image.”

—Neil Armstrong reveals his concerns about the moon landing mission.


Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC)

Jimmy: Is it soccer or football?

Alex: I get that question every day, and you know the tough thing is I don’t know my career. I don’t know what I play.

Jimmy: What do you write on your taxes?

Alex: Professional athlete.

Jimmy: Oh, that’s what I write on mine too.

—Jimmy asks World Cup winner Alex Morgan an important question.

The CW

Pandora (The CW)

Xander: Welcome to Earth.

Jax: You’re not Professor Osborn.

—Jax (Priscilla Quintana) resists Xander’s (Oliver Dench) warm welcome.


Blood & Treasure (CBS)

“Hey, will you grab my comfy shoes! And don’t tell me who wins the game!”

—Father Chuck (Mark Gagliardi) makes some last-minute requests as he’s being taken in for questioning by Gwen (Katia Winter).


Grantchester (PBS)

“This is your life. It’s an endless merry-go-round. Sin. Feel bad. Drink. Sin. Feel bad. Drink.”

—Geordie (Robson Green) describes Sidney’s (James Norton) life.

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This week welcomed returns from shows like Suits and Sweetbitter as well as iconic moments on The Loudest Voice and The Bachelorette. Click through our gallery above to check out all the best quotes!