Best Lines of the Week (December 2-8): ‘Put a Fettuccine in Your In-Betweenie’

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Amazon Prime Video/Hulu/The CW
Good Place
Hulu

The Good Place (NBC)

Chidi: I really want to play this cool, but I’m afraid that I’m going to ruin it if I try to be sexy.

— Chidi (William Jackson Harper) and Eleanor (Kristen Bell) have an emotional moment after being trapped in Janet’s body.

Single Parents
Hulu

Single Parents (ABC)

Dr. Dewan: I can’t go in there, they will eat me alive. Those parents worship me. It’s always, “Dr. Dewan can you cure my kid?” “Dr. Dewen, you’re so hot.” It’s a real hassle.

— Dr. Dewan (Hannah Simone) getting nervous about going to a party with all of her patients’ parents.

Screen Shot 2018-12-07 at 12.27.36 PM
Amazon Prime Video

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Amazon Prime Video)

Miriam (Midge) Maisel: It’s not enough that women have to compete with other women, now men are getting in the mix? You can’t have it all. You can’t run the world, and have all the pretty underwear, too!

— Midge (Rachel Brosnahan) gets annoyed when she realizes that the attractive Parisian dancer in the club is actually a man.

Riverdale
The CW

Riverdale (The CW)

Jughead: Archie, no offense, but Betty took down a serial killer last year. You can’t go for more than five minutes without getting the crap kicked out of you.

— Jughead (Cole Sprouse) to Archie (KJ Apa) after Archie claims he is “fine.”

John Legend
YouTube

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (NBC)

John Legend: Everyone says I look like Arthur. You know, the PBS character?

— John Legend responds to wife Chrissy Teigen’s Instagram trolling.

Modern Family
Hulu

Modern Family (ABC)

Claire (Julie Bowen): I lost my virginity in this car.

Phil (Ty Burrell): What’s that now?

— Secrets are slipping out among the Dunphy family.

Young Sheldon
CBS

Young Sheldon (CBS)

Sheldon: I’m going to goof off, engage in horseplay, and, if time permits, be quite immature.

— Sheldon (Iain Armitage) to Tam (Ryan Phuong) after reading that “a stunted childhood can cause one to be maladjusted as an adult.”

Bobs Burgers
Hulu

Bob’s Burgers (Fox)

Linda: Put a fettuccine in your in-betweenie, Pesto!

— Linda Belcher sticking it to rival restaurant owner, Jimmy Pesto.

Sabrina
Netflix

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Netflix)

Zelda: Mr. Kinkle, this is your son’s funeral. Might we honor his memory and compose ourselves?

— At Tommy’s funeral, Zelda (Miranda Otto) stops Mr. Kinkle (Christopher Rosamond) from throwing a punch at Harvey (Ross Lynch).

South Park
Hulu

South Park (Comedy Central)

Stephen: There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just come out with it, then. We’re not Amazon Prime members anymore.

Linda (Mona Marshall): Then what are we?

— Stephen (Trey Parker) breaks some bad news to his family.

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With the hilarious Season 2 premiere of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and a comical pasta pun on Bob’s Burgers that is sure to make you laugh, this week was full of hysterical lines you won’t want to miss.

Click through the gallery above to see our favorite lines of the week!

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