Best Lines of the Week (August 7-13): 'Love Yourself'

Best TV Quotes Colbert American Dad Hard Knocks
CBS; TBS; HBO

This week in television, we said some goodbyes, while still keeping room for hellos and laughs.

It was the series finale for Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D and the season finale for Perry Mason, but we also welcomed HBO's Hard Knocks and Netflix's (Un)Well to the screen.

'Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.' Bosses Answer Our Burning Series Finale QuestionsSee Also

'Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.' Bosses Answer Our Burning Series Finale Questions

Executive producers Jed Whedon, Maurissa Tancharoen, and Jeff Bell break down the biggest moments, what was left out, and spinoff chances.

Of course, we can't forget the moments on TV this week that made us laugh, as both The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon delivered a late night comedy fix. Plus, ABC's What Would You Do? delivered some powerful, inspirational messages that we can all learn from.

Check out the best lines in TV this week below.

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
CBS

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS)

“The results are in. With 53% of precincts reporting, the Late Show is ready to project that Joe Biden has won the Connecticut primary, with a commanding 84% of the vote. Bernie Sanders put up a good fight, but ultimately could not overcome the fact that he dropped out of the race in April.”

– Stephen Colbert recaps Joe Biden’s inevitable win.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Fitz
ABC/Mitch Haaseth

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC)

“In fact, no matter what the outcome, this will be the last time we’re all in the same room together. Ever.” 

– In the series finale, Fitz (Iain De Caestecker) addresses the agents as tensions start to rise on their mission, and the team goes quiet as they realize that they are together for the last time. 

Hard Knocks, Sean McVay
HBO

Hard Knocks (HBO)

“Hey, and also, don’t be the guy that takes a s**t in the porta-potties. Alright, I went in there, and I about threw up. Alright, have a little bit more, uh, social awareness.”

– Head coach of the Los Angeles Rams Sean McVay lectures his team about etiquette at practice, launching a long-running joke between the athletes.

Perry Mason, Veronica Falcon
HBO/Merrick Morton

Perry Mason (HBO)

“I’m a wetback and a woman. I need to stay ahead of the rest of them.”

– When Perry (Matthew Rhys) loses his house to Lupe (Veronica Falcón) in the season finale, she fires back.

American Dad
TBS

American Dad (TBS)

Francine: “Wow! Here we are in Sin City!”

Hayley: “It’s pronounced Cincinnati.”

– Francine (Wendy Schaal) and Hayley (Rachael MacFarlane) go to Sub Hub as secret shoppers and search for reasons to write up the employees.

 

America's Got Talent, Terry Crews
NBC/Chris Haston

America's Got Talent (NBC)

“If you thought the pressure was on last night for the acts, tonight it all goes up a level. Eleven acts performed, but only five will survive. Yes, this competition is hard.”

– Host Terry Crews introduces the Results Show as acts hope to advance to the semifinals.

Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
NBC

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (NBC)

“Yep. For 15 cents you can spend two hours in a full panic wondering if it was worth it.”

– Jimmy Fallon reacts to the news that AMC Theaters will be showing movies for 15 cents on opening day as they open more than 100 of their locations on August 20.

What Would You Do
ABC

What Would You Do? (ABC)

“Hatefulness isn’t going to get you anywhere. No matter what you look like, you should be confident, and you should love yourself, and you should love your body. It’s most important to love yourself on the inside.”

– Actress Abby shares her reflections on the social experiment in an episode about gym members bullying a plus-sized woman working out in leggings.

Unwell, Netflix
Netflix

(Un)Well (Netflix)

“Wellness: a global industry worth trillions of dollars. Does it bring health and healing? Or are we falling victim to false promises? Are we really getting well?”

– The new Netflix series examines the detrimental effects of health and wellness theories and trends.