‘Bachelor in Paradise’ Episode 7: Literally Everyone Wants to Date John Paul Jones (RECAP)

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Spoiler Alert
ABC

It’s a brand new week which means plenty of drama for our favorite Bachelor Nation stars on the beach in Mexico.

Will Blake finally choose one woman? Will Derek move on from Demi? Read on for all of the highlights from Bachelor in Paradise Episode 7:

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Everyone’s after John Paul Jones

A new girl named Tahzjuan arrives in Paradise and boy is she a treat. She asks John Paul Jones on a date (which Tayshia totally approves of — randomly) and in a matter of seconds, falls in love with him. We don’t blame her, but it’d be nice if she pumped the brakes just a tad. On the date, JPJ doesn’t stop laughing the entire time and we’re reminded once again why we adore this blonde-haired creature.

“I might Tahz-wanna kiss her tonight,” JPJ admits before they hop in the ocean and share a steamy makeout session.

But he quickly finds himself caught between multiple women, as one of the Ferguson twins shows up in Paradise with her heart set on JP. So, Haley also asks him on a date and he gladly accepts. They go horseback riding on the beach, but while they’re away, Tahzjuan has a mental breakdown over “her man” being gone with another woman. Easy does it, Tahz.

When they get back from the date, Tahzjuan makes it clear that she’s not a fan of Haley, referring to her as a “pigeon” and telling her she’s going to spit in her wine? Name calling is one thing, but let’s not waste perfectly good alcohol here.

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Tayshia goes after Derek

While John Paul Jones is away, Tayshia will play. Derek seems to be in better spirits after Demi ended things with him to pursue her relationship with her girlfriend from back home, Kristian. And one thing keeping him distracted is Tayshia.

“You’re someone I’m very crazily attracted to. But frankly right now I’m questioning if I should be here anymore,” Derek says. “I don’t know how to take a next step.”

Tayshia tells him that even though it’s hard, he still deserves happiness and he should try to be open, which works in her favor and the two end up making out. Go Tayshia.

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Caelynn questions Dean

So Dean has a way of making everyone feel special. And apparently that’s a bad thing. So Caelynn addresses Dean because she wants to know where they stand and if she’s getting her hopes up for nothing.

Turns out, Dean wants to date Caelynn, but only while they’re both on the show. He tells her she’d be “miserable” as his girlfriend and it’s a “convince me otherwise” situation. I’m sorry, what? Why is he even here, then? And why does Caelynn have to “convince” him to want to be with her?

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“I don’t know what to do. Do I continue spending time with him?” Caelynn asks through tears. “I don’t get why he came here.” ME EITHER, GIRL.

Kristina comes between Blake and Caitlin

Am I having déjà vu or did this already happen last week? Kristina has yet again come between Blake and Caitlin… for the wrong reasons. Kristina apparently has no romantic interest in Blake, but she wants that damn rose. And even though Blake tells Caitlin that he’s “100%” giving her his rose, that 100% quickly dwindled down to 0% after a little chat with Kristina.

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Kristina: If he really liked Caitlin, he would’ve hooked up with her at Stagecoach with the rest of Bachelor Nation.

True, but how many girls could this guy possibly hook up with at once?

The rose ceremony

Chris Harrison tells the group that the men are still handing out the roses tonight, but Demi will come up and hand out the first rose. She gives hers to Kristian (obv), followed by Clay to Nicole, Mike to Sidney, Dean to Caelynn, Blake to Kristina, Derek to Tayshia, John Paul Jones to Haley, and last but not least, Chris decides to give Katie the rose over Jen.

Which means Caitlin, Jen, and Tahzjuan are going home.

Bachelor in Paradise, Mondays and Tuesdays, 8/7c, ABC