Best Lines on TV This Week: ‘My First Proper Alien and He’s an Idiot’

Peter Capaldi and Arsher Ali - Doctor Who - Season 9, Episode 4
Doctor Who, Season 9, Episode 4, the Doctor (Peter Capaldi) and Bennett (Arsher Ali).

Doctor Who

“My first proper alien and he’s an idiot.”
— Bennet (Arsher Ali) expresses his disappointment about the first alien he meets (though it’s not the Doctor)

The Big Bang Theory

“You know what they don’t have at the Container Store? Something big enough to contain my disappointment!”
— Sheldon (Jim Parsons) reacts very negatively to the news that Leonard (Johnny Galecki) and Penny (Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting) will live together

Sheldon: “You and Leonard and Penny, you all poisoned me with emotions. I was like the Tin Man, perfectly content, until that evil Wizard gave him a heart.”
Amy: “I don’t think that was the point of the movie.”
— Sheldon (Parsons) laments having feelings and reveals he didn’t get the real message of Wizard of Oz

Jane The Virgin

Maternity clothes
Seem like a psychopath

— Petra’s not-so-surprisingly short list on whether she should artificially inseminate herself with Rafael’s sperm

The Grinder

“I’m sorry I lied. I’m sorry that you had to miss that field trip. You definitely didn’t deserve to have your virginity dragged out like that.”
— Dean apologizes for a decades-old lie that prevented his brother from going on a field trip

The Mindy Project

Brooklyn Nine Nine

“My dreams are coming true. You and me getting my lady off together.”
— Boyle’s words on Jake helping him solve this love interest case

Gravity Falls

“Why aren’t they singing about following their dreams? TV taught me that high school is like some sort of musical.”
— Mabel unknowingly makes a reference to Disney’s High School Musical

Bella and the Bulldogs

“I like rules. Some people think it’s good to question authority, but I find comfort in blind obedience.”
— Newt expresses his love of rules.

The Flash

Jay: “So, I hear they call you ‘The Scarlet Speedster.'”
Barry:  “Yeah. What about you?”
Jay: “‘The Crimson Comet.’ What is it with alliteration and nicknames?”
— Jay Garrick (Teddy Sears) and Barry (Grant Gustin) poke fun at comic book naming conventions

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

“They’re saying now that if Hillary Clinton actually became president, she probably wouldn’t have Bill be her First Gentleman. It’s rumor that her daughter Chelsea or her top aid could be named First Lady. They still have to come up with a title for Bill…He could go with First Ladies Man… Commander in Briefs… Speaker of the Doghouse, all good choices.”
— Fallon considers the alternative titles for a female president’s husband