Best Lines on TV This Week: The Hazards of New Motherhood and Traveling by Box

Nashville

“I’ll just sit here like a blob and be an unemployed milking machine.”

–New mom Juliette (Hayden Panettiere) is not happy when Avery (Joshua Jackson) wants her to skip his band’s show.

The Royals

“The Bitch doth protest.”

– Eleanor (Alexandra Park) doesn’t believe Ophelia’s (Merritt Patterson) denial about her feelings for Liam (William Moseley.)

Game of Thrones

Tyrion: “Do you know what it’s like to stuff your shit through one of those air holes?”
Varys: “No, I only know what it’s like to pick up your shit and throw it overboard.”

– Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) isn’t happy being smuggled into Pentos by Lord Varys (Conleth Hill) via a dank, tiny crate.

iZombie

“What, so all zombies are killers now?”

– Liv (Rose McIver) balks when Dr. Ravi (Rahul Buckley) stereotypes her undead crush.

2 Broke Girls

Caroline: “Pay attention. These are the tables. This is the dessert bar.”
Max: “And these are my boobs.”
Caroline: “Max, be professional.”
Max: “These are my boobs, sir.”

– Max (Kat Dennings) tries to entice the new waiter during his training session, despite Caroline’s (Beth Behrs) protestations.

Gotham

“I deserve a mute supermodel who likes pasty Irish guys and loves to cook.”

–Harvey (Donal Logue) has unrealistic expectations.

Weird Loners

Caryn: “This is a lot of information. What site is this?”
Zara: “Am I Dating a Douchebag dot com. By the way, I know you date a lot so I signed you up for the full year.”

–Zara (Meera Rohit Kumbhani) is just trying to look out for Caryn (Becki Newton) after finding out Stosh (Zachary Knighton) has been lying to them.

Scandal

“Are you finding that no matter how far you run, no matter how white your knight is, that all men are just like you father?”

–Papa Pope (Joe Morton) tries to talk sense into Olivia (Kerry Washington)