Bachelor Talk: What Twitter Says When a Farmer, a Widow and a Virgin Head to the Badlands

Damian Holbrook
Richard Carlson/ABC

The Bachelor

Yee haw! The Bachelor hit the wild west last night, and the lawless land of the interweb honored Chris Soules and company's trip to Deadwood, S.D., with some rootin' tootin' tear-downs on Twitter. It helped that the two-hour festival of crazy dating included Prince Farming's long-awaited two-on-one date with Ashley I., the virgin with hooker makeup skills, and Kelsey, the widow who uses tales of her dead husband as foreplay. From the second these two hit the Badlands for what turned out to be their last hurrahs with the hunk of the hour, the hashtags and trash-talk were flowing.

Mount Rushmore left her blank-eyed and baffled, yet she has a Master's. Way to go, higher education!

All she says is that the guy's heart just stopped. Out of fear, maybe?

You know someone at ABC has already pitched this.

Please, like these women eat.

Ding dong!

Clearly we agree.

The guy would know.