Erin Napier Admits She Struggles Being a ‘Solo Mom’ Without Husband Ben
HGTV stars Erin and Ben Napier have been married for over 15 years and have hosted Home Town for the past nine years, so they’re used to doing most things together, including raising their two children.
However, Erin has admitted that the times when Ben isn’t around at home can become a struggle as she has a hard time being a “solo mom” to daughters Helen (6) and Mae (3).
Appearing on the latest episode of Dave Barnes’ and John McLaughlin’s Dadville podcast, Erin joked of her kids, “We messed them up.”
On a more serious note, Erin said that because their children are so used to having both parents around, they can start to misbehave after just an hour or two of their dad being gone.
“I feel like all of my friends are incredibly good at solo momming because their husbands work in a different location from them and so they are used to doing things on their own,” Erin shared, per Heavy.com. “But if I have to solo mom without [Ben] for even an hour or two hours, the girls really misbehave and are different.”
“It’s just exhausting,” Ben added.
“As long as Daddy is there,” Erin continued, “they stay balanced and really sweet.”
Ben noted that “it’s the same” for him “if [Erin’s] not there,” noting, “They don’t like it to have just one of us.”
Erin Napier Instagram
Erin blamed this behavior on the rigid routines they’ve created, including doing almost everything as a foursome. She even admitted to dropping Helen off at school as an entire family. This has now made it difficult when one of them isn’t around for a while.
“It’s just a weird challenge that most families, I think, probably don’t have,” Erin stated. “You can make it with just mom or just dad for a day or two, but we — ugh, just, everything falls apart.”
Ben Napier Instagram
The couple also revealed how the girls won’t do certain activities with Erin that they would do with Ben, particularly outdoor things. Erin said this leads to the kids “roaring through the house.”
“For some reason, they go to the garden with me, they go to the pond with me, they play in the trees with me, but they will not do it with her,” Ben added, noting how it “doesn’t feel normal” for the kids to do those activities with their mom because they’re so used to doing them with him.
However, he said if it’s a brand new activity, Helen and Mae will be more willing to participate. As an example, he said Erin recently got the girls to go outside with her and dance in the rain.
“That was something they’ve never done before,” he continued. “And so that was okay. That was exciting and new and fun, and they were doing it with mom, and it was great. But if mama says, ‘Hey, why don’t we go down and water the garden,’ [they say], ‘No, Daddy’s not here.’”
Erin and Ben wrapped up filming the spinoff series Home Town Takeover Season 3 earlier this year, and the show is expected to premiere on HGTV in early 2025.
Conversation53 Comments
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Comments are closed on this story.
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R
I am a mom of 5.some of you are being so mean with your words .she is just saying the difference and a lot of people go through these changes...thankyou for being open to say how you feel.please don't let mean nasty people that are filled with hate say things and stuck with you.they are bullies..all of my kids are raised now and lovely!! God bless your sweet family💞💞
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Pretty normal Erin and Ben. Kids like routine, it gives them stability, which is why they find it hard to do things with a parent they usually do with the other parent. Push doing these things a little at a time which helps them see it’s okay and fun to do dad things with mom or mom things with dad. You’re doing great. This is just the next step. Hang in there😊👍
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How about some arts and crafts or doing some puzzles together watching a favorite movie or TV show together, that's what me and my kids used to do and especially on rainy days or night time on the weekends we would have special nights for sandwich night and movies and we would all put sleeping bags on the living room floor and it would be like a sleepover with all the snacks LOL and then we would get up and dance around the house with the music on what little drums and a little guitar in hand LOL and sing a little hearts out
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Ellen Erin an Ben i guess you realize how fortunate you that your a team. I'm sure you empathize with all single parents who live this life especially when it wasn't their choice!
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B
Get a handle NOW THERE LITTLE PUT DOWN RULES!
Nothing wrong with discipline! The Bible says, train your children up in the ways to go and they will never depart from it! You got this. Number one make rules! Don’t let them be broken!
When there 12 you will be so glad!
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There, they're, their! To each their own.
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I'm sorry, but most of the time these things happen because the parents allow the kids to be in charge, to the point where they tell the PARENTS what to do. By the time they are 10, the parents are going to have an even bigger problem on their hands, if they don't put down some ground rules now!
Most of the parents who allow this behavior always try to "explain it away"... "Oh, she's just tired..." "He's not feeling well..." "She's used to napping with Mommy, so she's just kind of cranky..." No! They are acting this way, because they have been allowed to do and say whatever they want, stomp their feet, cry, and scream at their parents, and they just stand with no power, then say "I don't know what to do with them". It will never get better if they don't try to get a handle on it now.
And believe me, all of the parents who are justifying this kind of behavior, have children who they are always apologizing for in restaurants, at family gatherings, being dropped off at the sitter's house, and any other place where the child acts out. They end up having the kind of child who no one wants to see coming.
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C
Wait till they get to to 14. You not there to be their friends you're there to be their parents. Grow a couple
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R
Just a bit annoyed about her “solo” parent status. There are single moms the world over successfully parenting with less time and money. Let’s be realistic here.
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Exactly.
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No shit. Boo hoo that they misbehave and she can't handle it.
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O
Agreed! I'm more annoyed the article suggested that she was a single parent. It's manipulative and minimmizing to parents walking in those shoes. As a public servant, I often work with vulnerable and maringinalized populations; many are single mothers - and even fathers. It is presumptuous for this article to compare this experience with that of single, working parents on a daily basis - not on occassion & with an income to support needs. It's a dichotomy of experience. Passive parenting does not equate single parenting
🙄
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Lay down rules and back them up with discipline. They will respect you a lot more as they grow up if you let them know that mom is in charge and they will mind or face consequences. It’s all part of teaching them to respect rules and boundaries.
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Thank you!!
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R
Cute that they like certain things with each parent but they should still behave and be nice to momma when Daddy isn't home.
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IMHO…In some cases, if the dad is perceived by the children as being a more nurturing parent, that’s who they will respond more to or go to more often. It’s not that mom is not a wonderful caring parent! The mom figure may be present in other ways. Patterns are difficult to undo for sure. If parenting and family life become more trying, maybe seeking therapy. This comes from an older mom, retired psych nurse and grandmother!
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This is true! My husband's was never strict with the kids. He never enforced grounding, chores etc. He delivers mail, so was home when school was out. I teach so I wasn't. When I was home, I was cooking and talking on the phone with my second job as a property manager. I had to be the "bad guy" and make them do homework, clean, etc.I was the one at Walmart late at night buying things for projects and activities Dad hadn't dealt with. I sat up to be sure they got done. They would call him because he was availablee to talk to on the phone and I had to teach. I took them to all their soccer games for years and went to practices until dad got Saturdays off. I worked extra jobs so they could play club soccer and travel. He is the one they call to this day. He is "good daddy". I am the evil witch who made the money for all those extra things. I pushed them to meet high standardsand made sure they did their best with school. They both received full rides to colleges. But he is the one they call. I was close to my mother. I always thought I'd have that with them. He loves it and encourages it but he's their go-to guy. They are now in their 30's, so I don't see it changing.
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P
I really think you guys are great. Loving parents that will work it out with the best family results.
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B
Complaining that it's too exhausting to take care of 2 kids alone! These kids today don't know what too much work!! My mother raised 7 kids by her self. Suck it up butter cup.
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Every family is unique.It’s not a competition.
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Unique....sure, but no way would kids in my family tell me what they're "not going to do". Parents need to be firm (not abusive) about the rules for their children.
The "excuses" (justification ) that parents give for their bratty children, have gotten ridiculous. They have let this behavior go on way too long.
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O
Double parent privilege be quiet please. Probably half of kids are single parent households.
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That doesn't mean that they shouldn't behave.
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B
Parenting is the most important thing we do in life. My late mother said say what you mean, mean what you say and follow it thru. Love, routine, and discipline are most important. Kids need boundaries and teaching them manners will turn out good people whom others want to be with. Ben and Erin seem like good decent parents who want the best for their girls.
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I think your column attracts more jealous, bored pissy like people then any other I've seen! Wonderful to read how a married couple with two biological little girls get along in day to day life & what happens when their structured routine is disrupted. It's refreshing.. Thank You for sharing!
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Not bored or pissy people at all. It's just reality. They have to deal with this because they didn't apply any rules for their children, and now it's coming back to bite them. They created those little monsters.
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C
You are not a solo mom a solo parent is one that the other parent died and you are forced to do everything alone. This is very out of touch of the reality of a lot of people’s life
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As a widow with 5 kids, all I can think is but he's coming home to you and your kids. You little bit of solo parenting isn't that tragic
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G
Her using the term "solo mom" makes it seem like she refers to herself as a single mom. After reading the article she is actually referring to how thing used to be, she's a "normal mom". I remember being raised like this as Mom stayed home with us kids while Dad worked. However, we all knew if we misbehaved for Mom, the phrase "wait till your father gets home" was thrown at us, which had true meaning and often times struck fear into us. Yet, IMO, all girls are "daddy's girls" and boys are always "momma's boys" when we are younger and behavior is influenced (lack of a better term) as to who is/isn't around at the time.
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Have Ben show the girls where he is when he’s not at home with them. And let them know that when he’s away that they must listen to their Mom and help her adjust to him not being at home as well. Erin is so used to having Ben around as well, so she’s probably experiencing separation anxiety with Ben away.
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I have a hard time feeling sorry for Erin. Most women have husbands taking business trips, overseas in the military and other things to deal with. How dare she complain? I use to like that show.
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Grow up, what a whiner
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It is common for children to behave differently when it's 2 children and 1 parent. It's okay to "make" them do Dad things with Mom. It's good to teach them that things don't happen the way they are used to or want to. Important life lesson here.
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Cry me a river....then go away
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I like Home Town , I like Erin n Ben
I learn lots of way to renovate house from them
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C
I used to like their show when it first came out. But, after she got a little fame and notoriety and started doing interviews. It became appears she is self absorbed and a tad narcissistic. Very self serving individual.
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Hi erin, I watch you guys all the time. Great show. Love both of you guys. But yeah it is hard trying to take care of two little ones by yourself sometime but put your foot down. It'll be okay. You're a good mom. Kids are going to be kids. Just remember focus put your foot down but still love them and sometimes you going to have to chastise them. They still going to love you no matter what and sometimes you just have to take. Take them to your mom, taking you his mom and get some peace of mind I had three children and I was a stay at home Mom some time's I every word of what you just said wanted to ring there. Now I have nine grandchildren and just as happy as I want to be. Don't worry Aaron, you're doing the right thing. You'll be all right
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Oh Erin welcome to everyone’s women’s world. It’s part of life . Rise them with discipline and it will have a smooth ride.
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Click bait headline. Makes it sound like he died. Tighten up your parenting and the kids won't be a problem. You're a parent, not a friend.
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P
Welcome to normal. Most families don't have both parents home. I know children like routine, but they need to learn the changes in life. Hope you are able to help the girls adjust & you don't stress. I truly enjoy your show and the love between Erin & Ben.
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C
I Love Them ! One of my Favorite 'sss..Beautifull Family & God Bless You ALLLL 🙏 ❤️
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O
I think I would do that stuff anyway. Stop being their friends and. Be parents
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Don't let them be the engine on the train... It's God ordained they're to be the caboose.
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Grow up! Most families have 2 parents at once
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Question. Why did you allow this behavior in the first place? It would be a lot easier if you hadn't glued yourselves together in the first place. How did you expect your children to grow and experience life? It can't always be their way.
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Life is not a strick regiment and for anyone including children to think so is just wrong. Its called learning to go with the flow and believe me you will enjoy your children and life much more.
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C
I love watching your show and my hubby calls it Pixie & the Bear! It's great that you are both able to be together to parent. But kids love schedules and discipline and get used to certain routines with each parent. Your older child can understand now that when Dads away or vice versa she can help Mom or Dad with doing big girl activities alone or with the other parent present. I would promise the kids that if all three were good at the supermarket and listened to me then we would do something special together later. Delayed gratification seemed to work at around 6 to 8 yrs of age. Then the older one would remind the younger one who was not in the grocery cart to stay close by. I would also get them to keep their eyes open for items that we needed while walking down the supermarket isles. It's challenging but they do understand more as they grow older. Love your shows.
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You should be able to handle your children by yourself we mom's from in the past had to do it all this younger generation thanks the husband always has to help. Learn to do it on your own. That makes you a good mom. And a strong mom.
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Erin, you are a wonderful mother! And Ben is a great Dad! I can remember when I was their age, Maybe around six, and wanting both of fmy parents around. Very different situation, but still at that age, I believe most children want that. My parents had been divorced since I was a baby, but they got along so good! My brother and I really were blessed! My brother was killed in a car wreck, the day before Christmas. It was really hard he was 15 and I was 12. He was riding with a friend, and the friend wrecked. As a family we always stayed together! Erin and Ben, Thank you for telling your truth! That's wonderful!!♥️🙏
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Don’t be overprotective that means that you are always in control of this situation especially with the kids. They do whatever you have to tell them to do. This mean to be independent in the develop the own personalities
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Basically everyone is missing daddy and the babies misbehaving is just them missing their daddy.
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Incorporate different one parent activities slowly. The girls are young. Children usually adapt well to what they are taught. They can also be very determined and resisting at times. You and Ben are great people. You will figure it out.
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C
It's ok there probably more families than you think go through the same thing. Trust me you're doing a fantastic job together. Blessings
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