Best Lines of the Week: (September 22-28): ‘I Feel Like I Could Get Finger Herpes Just From Scrolling’

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Best Lines of the Week - September 29
Fuller House
Netflix

Fuller House

Ramona: “Hey Jesse, I need your help. Pretend you’re a cute guy.”
Jesse: “Ouch!”
Ramona: “You know what I mean, pretend you’re a young guy.”
Jesse: “Ooooouchhhhh!”

– Ramona (Soni Bringas) completely underestimating Uncle Jesse’s (John Stamos) hotness.

Keeping Up With the Kardashians Ten Year Anniversary Special - Scott Disick, Kourtney Kardashian
E!

Keeping Up With the Kardashians Ten Year Anniversary Special

Scott Disick: Here’s the thing, every time I become too good of of a person, she stops loving me because she fell in love with a guy who was a little bit f*cked up.”
Kourtney: “No, that’s not true.”
Scott: “One hundred percent. I treat you like royalty, you don’t say hello to me. I spit in your face and you’re like ‘’Hey, babe’.”

– It’s safe to say this toxic relationship is officially over.

Teen Wolf
Scott Everett White/MTV

Teen Wolf

Lydia: “You convinced the FBI to bring an intern onto an extremely dangerous field operation?”
Derek: “I’m surprised he didn’t convince them that he could lead it.”

– Lydia (Holland Roden) and Derek (Tyler Hoechlin) reacting to Stiles’ (Dylan O’Brien) version of how he had to save Derek’s life from the FBI.

Will & Grace - Sean Hayes, Megan Mullally
Chris Haston/NBC

Will & Grace

Jack Mcfarland: “I feel like I could get finger herpes just from scrolling.”

– Jack (Sean Hayes) expresses his disappointment with the gay dating app, Grindr, on the return episode of Will & Grace.

This Is Us - Ron Cephas Jones as William
Ron Batzdorff/NBC

This Is Us

William: “If love hunts you, finds you, captures you–will you hold it tight? Nurture it? Protect it? I hope you will, I hope you can.”

– William (Ron Cephas Jones) leaving words of wisdom for Randall (Sterling K. Brown)–and viewers.

Outlander - Caitriona Balfe
Starz

Outlander

Frank: “You couldn’t look at Brianna without seeing him, could you? Without that constant reminder, mightn’t you have forgotten him? With time?”

Claire: “That amount of time doesn’t exist.”

– Frank (Tobias Menzies) and Claire (Caitriona Balfe) discuss the memory of Jamie (Sam Heughan) and the weight that it brings to their own relationship, with Claire confirming that her love for Jamie will never go away.

Star Trek Discovery - Sonequa Martin-Green
Jan Thijs/CBS Interactive

Star Trek: Discovery

Burnham: “From my youth on Vulcan, I was raised to believe that service was my purpose. And I carried that conviction to Star Fleet. I dreamed of a day when I would command my own vessel and further the noble objectives of this great institution. My dream is over. The only ship I know in ruins. My crew… gone. My captain, my friend. I wanted to protect them from war, from the enemy. And we are at war and I am the enemy.”

– Burnham (Sonequa Martin-Green) talks about what the rise of the Klingon unification and the battle that destroys the Shenzhou means for her journey.

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