Best Lines of the Week (June 19-25): 'I'm Coming for Him'

America's Got Talent, Taste the Nation, Patriot Act
Netflix/Cara Howe; Hulu/Marie Hobro; NBC/Trae Patton

This week in television was full of laughter. Hasan Minhaj nailed his politics episode of Patriot Act and TBS debuted two remotely-produced competition shows, Tournament of Laughs and Celebrity Show-Off.

Things also got spicy on screen. Comebacks were served on RuPaul’s Drag Race and Yellowstone. The cast struck back on 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days, plus NOS4A2 got heated.

Finally, audiences got to embark on a tour across America on Taste the Nation with Padma Lakshmi.

Scroll down to see which quotes from this week stuck with us.

Yellowstone, John, Kevin Costner
Paramount Network

Yellowstone (Paramount Network)

“I have a solution, Lynelle. You leave the blanket right where it is. I’ll resign as Livestock Commissioner and accept full responsibility for my agents’ overreach. And you, you stop looking. You let it go. You talk about militias and human smuggling and you take the credit. And you leave me and my family out of it.”

– John (Kevin Costner) bargains with Governor Perry (Wendy Moniz) in the premiere of Season 3.

Patriot Act, Hasan Minhaj
Netflix/Cara Howe

Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj (Netflix)

“Yeah, Bel Air! Nothing like getting up early, voting for Bloomberg, and heading into work with a gut full of beef chow mein.”

Hasan Minhaj jokes about the voting facility in Bel Air that provides voters with a full buffet, beverages, and even a harpist.

90 Day Fiance, Big Ed
TLC

90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days (TLC)

“I’ve got to go on a diet. I didn’t realize how fat I look on my vespa.”

– Big Ed comments on his appearance as he rewatches the first episode of the series in the special B90 Strikes Back.

AGT, Serban Cioca
NBC/Trae Patton

America's Got Talent (NBC)

“If I win, I’m taking you to Goodwill to get you some colorful T-shirts so that you can brighten up this audience and this room.”

– Season 15 Week 5 contestant Serban Cioca makes a promise to Simon Cowell before performing what Simon ends up calling “the worst singing act ever.”

Taste the Nation, Padma Lakshmi
Hulu/Marie Hobro

Taste the Nation with Padma Lakshmi (Hulu)

“I came to America when I was four. I’m an immigrant, and I’m not alone. I’ve spent my life writing about food and tasting the world. Now, I want to explore who we are through the food we eat. What exactly is American food? And what makes us American?”

Padma Lakshmi introduces her new Hulu original series, in which she travels across America to explore the culture behind foods from a variety of immigrant groups in order to demonstrate the richness that is brought into our country from people originally beyond our borders.

NOS4A2, Ashleigh Cummings
AMC/Cara Howe

NOS4A2 (AMC)

“Tell Father Christmas I’m coming for him.”

— Vic McQueen (Ashleigh Cummings) has grown into even more of a badass after an eight-year time jump in Season 2 of the AMC horror series.

RuPauls Drag Race, Miz Cracker
VH1

RuPaul's Drag Race (VH1)

Miz Cracker: “Listen, sweetheart, you’re trying to make-”

Alexis Mateo: “DON’T sweetheart me, because I’m NOT sweethearting you.”

– The shade gets particularly heated between Miz Cracker and Alexis Mateo after the latter overheard a workroom conversation that doesn’t sit right with her.

Celebrity Show Off, Jason Mraz
TBS

Celebrity Show-Off (TBS)

“You know, it’s always important to have a few extra costumes in the closet just in case a pandemic should happen.”

– Jason Mraz comments on his hilarious segment that he self-filmed in an effort to entertain the most people for a chance to win the show.

Tournament of Laughs, Michael Rapaport
TBS

Tournament of Laughs (TBS)

“Don’t ever, ever come in the shower with me. I don’t care if we’re two people, we ain’t ever going to be nude. Get the f**k out! Leave me in the shower alone!”

Michael Rapaport poses as a picky househunter on his bit for the new TBS comedy competition series.

John Oliver
HBO

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

“There is absolutely no one in the room with me right now. Although, interestingly, that’s still somehow only slightly fewer people than were at President Trump’s Oklahoma rally….”

 – John Oliver compares the state of his show in quarantine to the attendance at the President’s recent stadium event.