TV’s Best Lines This Week Came from Empire, Fresh Off the Boat and Others
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
“Time out! Well on the downside I’ll probably be grounded for life, but on the plus side … I got Kelly Kapowski pregnant.”
—Zack Morris (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) and the rest of the Saved by the Bell cast members reunited for a sketch on Jimmy Fallon.
“Girl please, your kids ain’t real, they rich.”
— Carol (Tasha Smith) is out of patience with sister Cookie’s (Taraji P. Henson) problems.
Fresh Off the Boat
“You hit us with your car!”
“You hit my car with your bodies.”
— Jessica (Constance Wu) has no sympathy after chasing down a few dine-and-dashers
“This isn’t even my fight and I wanna chew someone’s face off.”
–Drita Davanzo watches as Karen Gravano and Natalie Guercio try to work out their issues.
“Do you want to be a babysitter, or do you want to be a boss?”
— Olivia (Kerry Washington) tries to manipulate Ian (Jason Butler Harner).
“If you’re looking for your driver, he’s napping in the trunk.”
—Red (James Spader) taunts foe Luther Braxton (Ron Perlman).
Jane the Virgin
“You can’t have the Passions of Santos without Santos — then it’s just Passions, and that show failed.”
–Rogelio (Jaime Camil) balks at being killed off of his telenovela
The Big Bang Theory
“You mess with the bull, you get the horns. I’m about to show this guy just how horny I can be.”
–Sheldon (Jim Parsons) is ready to battle after an online troll insults his and Leonard’s (Johnny Galecki) thesis.
2 Broke Girls
“Just because you rhyme doesn’t make it ok – and I’m pretty sure that’s what Rihanna said to Chris Brown.”
–Max (Kat Dennings) and Caroline (Beth Behrs) debate going to Sophie (Jennifer Coolidge) and Oleg’s (Jonathan Kite) dinner party.
Compiled by Gabrielle Bernardini, Evan Lewis, Amanda McGrath, Diana Oliveira and Atiba Rogers.