‘SNL’ Cold Open: Bowen Yang Returns to Roast Tech Billionaires Amid Outages & Scandals
What To Know
- Bowen Yang returned as Jensen Huang in an SNL cold open mocking tech billionaires amid scandals and outages.
- John Mulaney played a CIA officer training tech leaders to avoid sharing secrets with suspected spies.
- The sketch also mocked grounded flights, a Microsoft Outlook outage and the billionaires’ social awkwardness.
Bowen Yang returned to Saturday Night Live‘s cold open as Jensen Huang to roast tech billionaires amid major outages and scandals.
On the Saturday, November 14 episode of SNL, host John Mulaney played a CIA officer gathering the nation’s brightest leaders in technology for training on not telling international spies industry secrets. (The session came after Huang, Nvidia’s former CEO, resigned after revealing several extramarital affairs — including with a woman suspected of being a Chinese spy.)
Among those gathered in the cold open were Tesla and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk (Jeremy Culhane), OpenAI CEO Sam Altman (Ben Marshall), PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel (James Austin Johnson), Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg (Andrew Dismukes), and Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei (Jane Wickline).
“Thank you for coming,” the CIA officer said. “We have gathered you, our nation’s most prominent tech billionaires… We are here to discuss an extremely sensitive matter of national security. America needs you to learn the difference between a woman who would actually want to have sex with you and a woman who is clearly a spy.”
The agent then asked what they thought the lesson was after Huang’s resignation, to which Thiel replied, “Never date a Chinese woman.”
To that, Zuckerberg suggested, “Never date a human woman.”
“Never date anyone, lest they become the anti-Christ,” Thiel declared, also challenging the officer to “name one time technology has let us down.”
“Uh, yesterday, when every plane in America was grounded,” the agent replied, to which Thiel said, “OK, name one more time.”
“Uh, the day before that, when Microsoft Outlook went dark,” the officer added.
In an attempt to continue the training, the CIA agent pointed out, “Never in the history of our species have people as pale or as strange as you have A) survived, and B) been given all the world’s wealth and power.” He then asked why someone “very beautiful” would suddenly be interested in them.
Altman answered, “Because I have a great personality and normal human mannerisms.”
Zuckerberg offered, “Because she’s comforted by my Meta Glasses recording her at all times.”
“Uh, she’s using me… for my body? Amodei guessed.”
For another scenario, the CUA agent asked them what they would say if a beautiful woman approached them at a bar to ask what they were working on.
Dario replied, “I would say, ‘Madame, what a pleasure to see you this evening. May I interest you in an industry secret?’ Meanwhile, Zuckerberg confidently said, “I would just assume that she wanted to sleep with the man who created the Metaverse, as all women do.”
That’s when the CIA agent handed over the training to “someone who learned this lesson the hard way.”
Suddenly, Yang as Huang entered the room — prompting enthusiastic applause and cheers from the studio audience.
He proclaimed, “It’s me, Jensen ‘Hide Your Wife’ Huang. Ladies, when you invite Jensen over, you know what’s about to go down: the S&P 500. That’s right, I’m into BDSM — breaking da stock market.”
Haung continued, “Fellas, don’t be like me. Remember: Women don’t like guys like us. That’s how we became guys like us.”
To that, Musk insisted, “But I’m like you. You know, we both have cool leather jackets, and we could be, like, in a cool biker gang. We’re both on Harley-Davidsons going, like…” as he made motorcycle noises.
Haung immediately sprayed Musk with water, exclaiming, “No, Elon! Bad Elon, bad Elon! And…” as everyone else joined in, “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”
Saturday Night Live, Saturdays at 11:30 p.m. ET on NBC
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