‘American Horror Story’ Finale: Who Lives, Who Dies & Who Goes to Hell?

Well, kids, we made it. After 12 seasons of satanic rituals, killer clowns, evil twins, murderous ghosts, witchy covens, and enough bloodshed to keep a hospital or Hollywood F/X house in business, we’ve finally arrived at this moment: the American Horror Story Season 13 finale. And if there’s one thing we’ve learned over the years, it’s that nobody is safe, nobody stays dead, and absolutely nobody should trust Ryan Murphy to deliver a happy ending.

With the fate of humanity hanging in the balance, the Devil playing dirty, and familiar faces from seasons past returning for one last round of supernatural chaos, the stage is set for a showdown 13 seasons in the making. So grab your black robes, say a little prayer to Papa Legba, and prepare for what could be one hell of a finale. Warning: Spoilers ahead for American Horror Story: 13 Episode 13 “Devil of a Good Time.”

The Devil’s endgame

A bunch of male hustlers have gathered at Mr. Nas’ (Fedor Steer) penthouse, a bit baffled but ready to party. Mr. Phibes (John Waters) welcomes the degenerates and assures them they’re not there for anything heinous, just a good, wholesome time complete with milk and freshly baked cookies.

As Phibes attends to his most important patient, screams fill the penthouse. With this latest sacrifice, Nas Taylor Doriam ages to 99.9 years old. He is just about to win the wager with God.

“That’s enough,” says the Handsome Devil version of Nas (Paul Anthony Kelly). He asks if the dead ruffians are Phibes’ work, and the devoted servant takes credit, along with the “dead witch.” They had to get his mortal husk to 100 by any means necessary. In this case, cookies laced with crystal meth.

But Mr. Phibes’ plan hits a snag: Mr. Nas himself.

Handsome Devil Nas lets one of the men escape, preventing his mortal self from reaching 100, before slitting his own throat and bleeding out. Aghast at the Satan-on-Satan crime, Phibes demands an explanation.

“People always assume that I’m cruel,” Nas explains. “There’s a softer side of Sears.” Unfortunately, there’s no softer side for Phibes. After promising his devoted follower his “just desserts,” Nas decapitates him with a flick of his finger, condemning him to an eternity in Hell.

Cordelia makes a deal with the Devil

Cordelia (Sarah Paulson) is trapped in a private hell alongside Nan (Jamie Brewer), working an endless shift at a kill shelter, putting down adorable puppies. Nas arrives, demanding that Cordelia kneel before him. She refuses, preferring an eternity in Hell to bowing before Satan.

But instead of punishing her, Nas transports them to a sunny Central Park, where he makes a surprising announcement. “You can keep your precious Earth,” he says. “I don’t want it anymore.”

Turns out, the Devil has grown bored with his century-long game. Humanity is more entertaining as a source of temptation and torment than something to manage. “Call it a Satanic midlife crisis that lasted nearly a century.”

All he wants is for Cordelia to admit he won, but she refuses to give him the satisfaction. So he reminds her that evil can never truly be defeated. “Evil thrives where good thinks that it’s triumphed. As soon as you think I’m gone, I’m gaining on you.”

Besides, Cordelia is his offspring, and he’s curious to see how her inner demons play out. He sends her back to her coven, even gifting her his Upper West Side penthouse, but warns that dear old Granddad could return when they least expect him.

With a kiss for his granddaughter, Satan skips away, whistling and happy as a clam.

A new Supreme and a new generation of evil (maybe)

Back at the penthouse, Cordelia discovers Mallory (Billie Lourd) casting the time spell Tempus Infinitum, hoping to gather knowledge from other timelines and find a way to defeat Satan. With two Supremes existing in the same timeline, Mallory believes this is a chance to protect Cordelia and contribute to the fight. Despite her mentor’s objections, she disappears into time.

Meanwhile, Madison (Emma Roberts) and Ben (Joey Pollari) are enjoying some postcoital bliss when a broken condom results in an immediate pregnancy, labor, and delivery, all in under a minute.

The baby appears stillborn until Nas arrives, slaps life into the tiny body, and thanks the new parents for producing his latest progeny. “This baby has star power,” he declares. “Congratulations. It’s a girl.”

And with that, Satan leaves Madison and Ben cooing over their demon spawn.

In a letter to Mallory, Cordelia explains that the coven is thriving. Fiona (Jessica Lange) is teaching her twin sister Constance (also Lange) magic in New Orleans, while Madison and Ben raise their daughter surrounded by love in the New York coven. The witches are also expanding their ranks throughout the city.

But Cordelia apparently grows impatient waiting for Mallory and uses a little magic to bring her back. Mallory has been in Salem, where she’s discovered a spell that could defeat Satan once and for all.

There’s just one catch. It requires the ultimate sacrifice.

Ben learns the truth about his destiny

Cordelia and Mallory summon Ben, who’s out on a diaper run, to deliver some devastating news. As Satan’s son, Ben is the latest in a long line of monstrous offspring, including Hitler, Caligula, Stalin, Mussolini, Xerxes, and of course, Michael Langdon (Cody Fern), to name a few. There were 12 before him, making Ben No. 13 and the most potent of them all.

So to defeat his father, Ben must sacrifice himself.

But he just fell in love. He just became a father. Now he’s being told that as long as Satan’s blood runs through his veins, evil will continue to thrive on Earth.

Cordelia apologizes, explaining that the greater the sacrifice, the more powerful the spell. Unfortunately, there’s no time to prepare. Madison will have to forgive them all when she learns of his bravery.

Ben breaks down, remembering the promise he made to protect his newborn daughter, before finally accepting his fate. “Tell me what I have to do.”

The coven makes its final stand against Satan

Before they can lift a finger to do anything, Mr. Nas arrives, forcing the witches to put their plan into action.

Cordelia realizes their mistake was accepting Satan’s philosophy that good cannot exist without evil. That might be his belief, but it isn’t theirs. With two Supremes and Ben’s power, they intend to banish him forever using the Vinculis spell, which chains a soul to what it desires most.

When Satan rebelled against God, God gave him a soul, allowing him to experience pain and pleasure, and what does the Devil desire above all else? To be admired.

“You dumb b*tches ain’t got the juice,” Nas taunts. But Ben knows they do, provided he’s willing to make the ultimate sacrifice.

“You f**ked with the wrong coven,” Cordelia declares. As the witches restrain Satan, Ben raises a dagger to his own heart and confronts the father responsible for his miserable existence: “F**k you, Dad. All my life I have been afraid of the number 13, but I am afraid no longer!”

With that, Ben stabs himself and turns to ash.

The sacrifice works. Satan is banished forever into Leonardo da Vinci’s The Last Supper, condemned to exist as Judas, the ultimate betrayer. Forever the 13th guest at the table, forever admired as a figure in one of history’s most famous paintings. The spell worked, and the Devil has finally gotten exactly what he wanted.

The witches won.

In the final moments, we see Ben’s ashes begin to rise. (And somewhere in Hell, Mr. Phibes is making the horrible, horrible movies he loves. Just like in real life.)

American Horror Story: 13, Now Streaming, Hulu