Return of ‘Slow Horses’ & ‘South Park,’ Reacher Hands off to Neagley, Women ‘Stars’ Dance

Slow Horses

Fresh off its second consecutive win for a directing Emmy, the sardonically suspenseful spy drama returns for a breathless sixth season, adapting Mick Herron‘s Joe Country and Slough House novels. As the British spy world gathers to remember one of its own, the late MI5 leader David Cartwright (Jonathan Pryce) — who can only be acknowledged covertly as an employee of the Department of Transport — his grandson, River (Jack Lowden), and the rest of the misfit “slow horse” agents of Slough House are in a bind. They’ve been wiped from the MI5 database, including payroll, and someone’s knocking off retired horses. Little time to mourn when the entire unit’s facing an existential crisis. (Good news: Apple TV just renewed the show through its eighth season!)

South Park

Bluntly satirizing the trend of renaming the Gulf of Mexico/America and Lake Ontario/America and possibly even New Mexico/America, the fearless comedy — which just won its sixth Emmy as Outstanding Animated Program — has rebranded itself South America for its 29th season. Are they kidding? Yes, but for now, they’re sticking to it. The official description of this week’s premiere goes like this: “When e-bikes arrive in South America, the boys take over the streets, and the parents of South America can hardly recognize South America.” This from the show that announced its recent name change by thanking “our parent company Paramount — a Skydance Capitulation,” referring to last year’s controversial merger. And we’re off!

Reacher

How many cuts can a slab of beefcake endure? You might well wonder in the action-adventure’s Season 4 finale, which even by this show’s violent standards reaches a bloodier-than-usual climax as the heroic hulk known as Reacher (Alan Ritchson) faces down the evil blade-wielding villainesses who are determined to launch a chemical weapon with maximum impact upon the good people of Philadelphia. After last week’s sacrifice, you might well wonder if any of his current sidekicks — mousy cop Jacob (Christopher Marquette), Philly detective Tamara (Sydelle Noel), and investigative reporter Russell Plum (Kevin Weisman) — will make it out alive.

Neagley

Conspicuously absent from Reacher this season was his frequent ex-military helpmate Frances Neagley (Maria Sten), but there’s a good reason. In time-honored TV tradition, she’s getting her own spinoff, which harks back to the Reacher formula of maverick crime-fighting against a diabolically deadly foe. Reacher drops by Chicago to launch the eight-episode inaugural season (all available for binge-watching), but then it’s up to Neagley, a private investigator with little regard for protocol, to figure out why a cherished friend stepped in front of an elevated subway train. Might it have something to do with the rural cult he joined, and the top-secret medical project going on within its property? She reluctantly joins forces with a local detective (Greyston Holt) and a streetwise goofball (Jasper Jones) to get to the bottom of the mystery.

Dancing With the Stars

It’s the ladies’ turn to take the dance stage in the competition’s second night, performing in jive, tango, cha-cha, foxtrot and quickstep styles to songs from the year the celebrities were born. The pairings include The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air alum Tatyana Ali with Jan Ravnik (“Knock on Wood”), TV chef Giada De Laurentiis with Alan Bersten (“Venus”), The Rookie‘s Jenna Dewan with Val Chmerkovskiy (“Call Me”), Olympic figure skater Amber Glenn with Pasha Pashkov (“Smooth”), reality star Maura Higgins with Mark Ballas (“Black Velvet”), Summer House‘s Ciara Miller with Brandon Armstrong (“Exhale (Shoop Shoop)”), reality star Sarah Jane Nader with Hailey Bills (“Sk8er Boi”) in the show’s second-ever same-sex pairing, and actress Julia Stiles with Ezra Sosa (“9 to 5”) in a Dolly Parton tribute. After the live vote, one of the couples will be eliminated.

INSIDE WEDNESDAY TV:

• MasterChef (8/7c, Fox): A winner is declared in the cooking competition’s Season 16 finale. Followed by the finale of Nation’s Dumbest (9/8c), where someone wins that dubious distinction.
• The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (8/7c, Bravo): Entrepreneur and motorcycle enthusiast Ashley Quai (call her “Quai”) joins the gossipy friend group for Season 7.
• The Great American Road Rally: Celebrity Edition (9/8c, The CW): Beverly Hills, 90210 and Sharknado alum Ian Ziering hosts a cross-country caravan of celebrity-driven vehicles from Chicago to Santa Monica to mark the 100th anniversary of Route 66 and the nation’s 250th.
• Nova: The Battle to Breathe (9/8c, PBS): A special installment depicts the decades of research that led to the development and 2019 release of Trikafta, a revolutionary treatment for cystic fibrosis.
• Next Gen NYC (9:15/8:15c, Bravo): The reality show’s cast reunites for a two-part reunion to rehash the highs and lows of their second season.
• Ages of Ice (10/9c, PBS): David Tennant (Doctor Who) narrates a three-part nature docuseries exploring the planet’s frozen regions, starting with an expedition to Earth’s poles.

ON THE STREAM:

• Ted Lasso (streaming on Apple TV): Dour coach Alice (Tanya Reynolds) tries adopting Ted’s (Jason Sudeikis) positive “Yes” philosophy with surprising results, while Ted tries to come up with the three words that best describe him on a dating app.
• Last Seen (streaming on Apple TV): Suspense deepens in the Australian crime drama when police dispatcher Ian (Patrick Brammall) tries to convince anyone that the girl who called his emergency line was his long-missing daughter Mags, while someone close to him begins to connect the dots.
• Golden Axe (streaming on Paramount+): The video game comes to life as an animated fantasy comedy with a voice cast including this year’s double Emmy winner Matthew Rhys and Community alum Danny Pudi.
• Route 187 (streaming on Paramount+): A four-part urban drama from Tyler Perry explores lives along a deadly bus route where a journalist discovers a serial killer has been secretly operating for years.
• Cassie Workman Is Witchy AF (streaming on YouTube): The transgender actor/comedian from Australia offers a weekly window into the occult alongside a cast of puppets.