Best Lines of the Week (September 30-October 6): ‘What Would He Do?’
This week’s releases had us eye rolling, laughing, and weeping all at once.
From shaking our heads to childishness in Tell Me Lies to giggling at sarcasm on The Simpsons, it’s safe to say that this week in TV kept us satisfied. Meanwhile, The Walking Dead remembered a character long-lost (but who will soon be appearing in the Universe once again, in one of the upcoming spinoffs).
And when we weren’t facepalming, we were at the edge of our seats for House of the Dragon, so without further ado, read ahead to read the lines that we were obsessed with this week.
House of the Dragon (HBO)
“Do not mourn me, mother. It was a fair exchange. I may have lost an eye but I gained a dragon.”
—Aemond (Leo Ashton) lets his mother Alicent (Olivia Cooke) and everyone know that the price for Vhagar has been paid.
The Walking Dead (AMC)
Daryl: “This parenting thing, I ain’t even good at it.”
Carol: “That’s who you are to her now.”
Daryl: “What would he do?”
—Daryl (Norman Reedus) asks Carol (Melissa McBride) what Rick (Andrew Lincoln) would do when it comes to parenting Judith (Cailey Fleming).
The Simpsons (Fox)
Marge: “Oh my God. A positive online interaction. Can you believe it, Alexa?”
Alexa: “I’m on my break.”
—Marge Simpson (Julie Kavner) attempts to converse with her Alexa about her unexpectedly positive experience with her at-home cycling class instructor.
Bob's Burgers (Fox)
“Yeah, why don’t we go anywhere in the summer? Is it because you need to have money and that’s not exactly our thing?”
—Tina (Dan Mintz) and the other Belcher children question why they’ve never been on a family vacation.
Nothing Compares (Showtime)
“They wanted me to grow the hair long and wear short skirts and high heels, makeup and the whole works, write songs that wouldn’t challenge anything. But then I come from a country where there used to be riots in the streets over plays. That’s what art is for.”
—Sinéad O’Connor explains how her background growing up in Ireland contributed to her ability to stand up against her record label.
Tell Me Lies (Hulu)
“I’m sorry I took intro to chemistry twice.”
—Wrigley (Spencer House) backing up his theory that a bowling ball will freeze in water
Last Week Tonight With John Oliver (HBO)
“That music sounds like it’s coming from ‘Generically Inspiring Violin for Bulls**t Political Ads and Commercials for Hospitals Volume 2.’”
—John Oliver commenting on the music playing in the background of an interview
The D'Amelio Show (Hulu)
Mark: “I don’t want her to leave!”
Charli: “Obsessed with me…”
—Charli’s response to her dad expressing how he feels about her moving out
Nailed It! Halloween (Netflix)
“Gotta say, for an animal lover, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen one.”
—Nicole Byers after seeing that a contestant didn’t exactly make a perfect replica of a snake soft-pretzel
Family Guy (Fox)
“What’re you guys doing? It’s Sunday, I thought husbands had to watch football all day or they get cancer.”
—Lois (Alex Borstein) is confused seeing her neighbors playing outside on a Sunday
Atlanta (FX)
“You can’t kidnap your own dad. I don’t have time to explain it to you right now, but the word ‘kid’ is in it so it’s mathematically impossible.”
— Willy (Katt Williams) explaining a miscommunication in which Jeanie think that Gloria kidnapped her Dad
