Best Lines of the Week (July 7-13): 'You Can't Be Handsome and Funny'

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HBO/VH1/ABC
petra
The CW

Jane the Virgin (The CW)

Petra: “I told you before — you can pull the plug.”

Doctor: “Actually, you need to put that in writing.”

Petra: “I did put it in writing!”

Doctor: “A text with a plug emoji and thumbs up doesn’t count.”

— Petra (Yael Grobglas) thinks about how to handle her mother’s condition after their car accident.

bringfunny
NBC

Bring the Funny (NBC)

Chrissy Teigen: “You can’t be handsome and funny, like that’s just mean, that’s not possible. And then you were!”

[Jeff Foxworthy leaves the judges’ table].

Kenan Thompson: “Jeff’s leaving.”

— The judges respond to comedian Matt Rife’s set.

roseceremony
ABC

The Bachelorette (ABC)

“I’m so sorry. I thought I could just come in and look at you all and know what I was going to do, and I don’t know what to do. And I’m so confused.”

— Hannah has a difficult time deciding who to send home at the hometown’s rose ceremony.

Younger2
TV Land

Younger (TV Land)

Diana: “She’s a cash cow, and Millennial could use the milk.”

Kelsey: “Did you have to say that?”

Diana: “I did, yeah.”

— Diana (Miriam Shor) and Kelsey (Hilary Duff) talk strategy against a new competitor. 

deion
VH1

Scream: Resurrection (VH1)

“Trick or treat, Deion.”

— Ghostface (Roger L. Jackson) returns in the latest Scream TV reboot season.

mallory
CBS

Love Island (CBS)

“The good thing with Love Island is the guys can’t ghost me.”

— Contestant Mallory gives a glimpse into her past dating struggles.

diane
HBO

Divorce (HBO)

“Don’t you just want to punch your fists through some drywall?”

— Diane (Molly Shannon) asks Frances (Sarah Jessica Parker) how she’s dealing with her ex-husband’s upcoming wedding.

famreunion
Netflix

Family Reunion (Netflix)

Moz: “I can smell M’Dear’s cooking from the airport. Smells delicious.”

Cocoa: “Smells like ten extra pounds.”

Moz: “You don’t have to eat it.”

Cocoa: “Oh, try and stop me.”

— Moz (Anthony Alabi) and Cocoa (Tia Mowry-Hardrict) feel right at home when they first get to Georgia.

fredsavage
Fox

What Just Happened??! with Fred Savage (Fox)

Fred Savage: “I would like you to tell me. Maybe like a secret code, maybe just you and I speak?”

Vince Gilligan: “Um, okay.”

Fred Savage: “I’m gonna stop you there, because I feel like you’re already going somewhere that I don’t want to go. You’re almost revealing too much!”

— Fred has trouble avoiding spoilers while talking with his guest, Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan.

archer
FXX

Archer (FXX)

“Now I’m a 9.”

— Cheryl (Judy Greer) feels at her best when threatening Krieger (Lucky Yates) after he has the idea to clone the group in their sleep.

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With fun and gory premieres alike from shows such as Bring the Funny and Scream: Resurrection, along with favorites like Jane the Virgin and Younger, this week of TV had a lot to offer.

Click through our picks of the best lines this week in the gallery above.