Best Lines of the Week (July 7-13): ‘You Can’t Be Handsome and Funny’
Jane the Virgin (The CW)
Petra: “I told you before — you can pull the plug.”
Doctor: “Actually, you need to put that in writing.”
Petra: “I did put it in writing!”
Doctor: “A text with a plug emoji and thumbs up doesn’t count.”
— Petra (Yael Grobglas) thinks about how to handle her mother’s condition after their car accident.
Bring the Funny (NBC)
Chrissy Teigen: “You can’t be handsome and funny, like that’s just mean, that’s not possible. And then you were!”
[Jeff Foxworthy leaves the judges’ table].
Kenan Thompson: “Jeff’s leaving.”
— The judges respond to comedian Matt Rife’s set.
The Bachelorette (ABC)
“I’m so sorry. I thought I could just come in and look at you all and know what I was going to do, and I don’t know what to do. And I’m so confused.”
— Hannah has a difficult time deciding who to send home at the hometown’s rose ceremony.
Younger (TV Land)
Diana: “She’s a cash cow, and Millennial could use the milk.”
Kelsey: “Did you have to say that?”
Diana: “I did, yeah.”
— Diana (Miriam Shor) and Kelsey (Hilary Duff) talk strategy against a new competitor.
Scream: Resurrection (VH1)
“Trick or treat, Deion.”
— Ghostface (Roger L. Jackson) returns in the latest Scream TV reboot season.
Love Island (CBS)
“The good thing with Love Island is the guys can’t ghost me.”
— Contestant Mallory gives a glimpse into her past dating struggles.
Divorce (HBO)
“Don’t you just want to punch your fists through some drywall?”
— Diane (Molly Shannon) asks Frances (Sarah Jessica Parker) how she’s dealing with her ex-husband’s upcoming wedding.
Family Reunion (Netflix)
Moz: “I can smell M’Dear’s cooking from the airport. Smells delicious.”
Cocoa: “Smells like ten extra pounds.”
Moz: “You don’t have to eat it.”
Cocoa: “Oh, try and stop me.”
— Moz (Anthony Alabi) and Cocoa (Tia Mowry-Hardrict) feel right at home when they first get to Georgia.
What Just Happened??! with Fred Savage (Fox)
Fred Savage: “I would like you to tell me. Maybe like a secret code, maybe just you and I speak?”
Vince Gilligan: “Um, okay.”
Fred Savage: “I’m gonna stop you there, because I feel like you’re already going somewhere that I don’t want to go. You’re almost revealing too much!”
— Fred has trouble avoiding spoilers while talking with his guest, Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan.
Archer (FXX)
“Now I’m a 9.”
— Cheryl (Judy Greer) feels at her best when threatening Krieger (Lucky Yates) after he has the idea to clone the group in their sleep.
With fun and gory premieres alike from shows such as Bring the Funny and Scream: Resurrection, along with favorites like Jane the Virgin and Younger, this week of TV had a lot to offer.
Click through our picks of the best lines this week in the gallery above.
