Best Lines of the Week (November 25-December 1): ‘Never Let Her Date a Drummer!’

Jessica St. Clair on 'Avenue 5'

As we brace for the cold that December brings, we have lots of new TV to keep us warm.

The hit HBO Max reboot Gossip Girl is back for Season 2 and the drama is as wild as ever. Julien (Jordan Alexander) decides to take a step back from her influencer career as her personal life deteriorates and starts looking into college. On the other side of the scale, The Simpsons spoofs a well-known rom-com.

Meanwhile, on HBO, with only two episodes left of The White Lotus, we are dying to know the fate of the characters that we have grown to love (but mostly hate) and which ones will make it out of the retreat alive. And over on Avenue 5, the comedy offers some very specific parenting advice.

Want to see what insults we thought were “cold”? Keep reading.

Amrit Kaur on 'The Sex Lives of College Girls'

Sex Lives of College Girls (HBO Max)

“I got a D? But I studied for like 15 minutes.”

— Bela (Amrit Kaur) is disappointed about her biochemistry exam grade after putting in “effort”

Eugene Mirman and Larry Murphy on 'Bob's Burgers'

Bob’s Burgers (Fox)

Teddy: “Going outside to play? I guess the snow’s not that old and dirty.”

Gene: “That’s what we say about Dad.”

— Teddy (Larry Murphy) and Gene (Eugene Mirman) chat before the Belcher family goes out to play in the snow.

F. Murray Abraham on 'The White Lotus'

The White Lotus (HBO)

“I can’t be responsible for everything I say, I’m concussed!”

—Bert (F. Murray Abraham) justifies nearly confessing his son’s (Dominic Di Grasso) secrets to his grandson (Adam DiMarco).

Quinta Brunson and Janelle James on 'Abbott Elementary'

Abbott Elementary (ABC)

Janine: “Ava, it’s Janine. Do you not have my number saved?”

Ava: “Of course not, what if I meet a better Janine?”

— Janine (Quinta Brunson) has a hard time reaching Ava (Janelle James) while she is out sick because of food poisoning.

Jessica St. Clair on 'Avenue 5'

Avenue 5 (HBO)

“OK, Doug, support her head! Support her head, raise her bilingual, and never let her date a drummer!”

— Mia (Jessica St. Clair) coaches Doug (Kyle Bornheimer) through raising their daughter as they get separated on the ship

Eli Goree on 'The Peripheral'
Prime Video

The Peripheral (Prime Video)

“Don’t take this the wrong way, ma’am, but are you, like… human?”

— Connor (Eli Goree) questions Beatrice (Anjli Mohindra) and her elusive plan to test the new training facility that Ainsley (Alexandra Billings) built out of thin air 

Yeardley Smith and Nancy Cartwright on 'The Simpsons'

The Simpsons (Fox)

Lisa: “And when I get all wrapped up in my feelings, you’re the one who tells me feelings are dumb.”

Nelson: “But they are dumb if you throw away everything for a loser in a clip-on tie!”

— Years in the future, Lisa (Yeardley Smith) declares her love for Nelson (Nancy Cartwright) in this hilarious parody of When Harry Met Sally.

Dan Levy on 'The Big Brunch'

The Big Brunch (HBO Max)

“It’s not brunch without drinks.”

— Sohla, one of the judges, is excited for the drinks part of the brunch competition show.

Jesse Eisenberg on 'Fleishman is in Trouble'

Fleishman Is in Trouble (Hulu)

“You can’t, like, dust for pubic hair.” 

— Libby (Lizzy Caplan) criticizes Toby’s (Jesse Eisenberg) investigation tactics as he searches for clues in his ex-wife’s apartment.

Whitney Peak on 'Gossip Girl'

Gossip Girl (HBO Max)

Julien: “Yeah, I’m thinking of pursuing an MBA.” 

Zoya: “Oh really? What does it stand for?”

— Zoya (Whitney Peak) is skeptical about Julien’s (Jordan Alexander) sudden desire for a career change