Nikki Glaser Takes Digs at CBS News, Leo DiCaprio, Epstein List & More in Golden Globes Monologue

Nikki Glaser hosts the 2026 Golden Globes on Sunday, January 11, her second year in a row in the role. And when it came to her opening monologue for “Hollywood’s Party of the Year” celebrating film and TV, live from the Beverly Hilton, she didn’t hold back — including about CBS News, even with the awards show airing on CBS and Paramount+. Watch the monologue above.

“Yes, the Golden Globes, without a doubt the most important thing happening in the world right now. So let’s get down to business. We’ll start the bidding for Warner Bros at $5. Do I hear $5? Tonight, we are celebrating the best of both TV and film right here in the heart of Los Angeles, where no TV or film has been made for the last six years,” she said and got some digs in about herself in her introduction. “Just like Wicked, I’m back for a sequel. Just like Frankenstein, I’ve been pieced together by an unlicensed European surgeon, and just like the podcasters nominated tonight, I should not be allowed to be this close to Julia Roberts.”

It didn’t take her long to address current topics like the Epstein list and CBS News. “I cannot believe the amount of star power we have in this room tonight. It’s insane. There’s so many A- listers. And by A-listers, I do mean people who are on a list that has been heavily redacted,” she said. “And the Golden Globe for best editing goes to … the Justice Department. And the award for most editing goes to CBS News. Yes, CBS News, America’s newest place to see BS News. We needed another one.”

She then had fun joking about The Rock and his “plus one half” Kevin Hart, calling them, “my favorite comedy duo. Such a classic comedy duo. You’re like a Steve Martin and Martin Short but for people under 50 IQ. We need movies, too. Jumanji: The Next Level — was it?”

Glaser also called out The White Lotus Season 3, “the first hit show to feature incest since Property Brothers season all of them?”

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As was expected, Glaser roasted Leonardo DiCaprio — and recalled his early ’90s days in her defense in how she did so. “What a career you’ve had. I mean, countless iconic performances. You’ve worked with every great director. You’ve won three Golden Globes, an Oscar, and the most impressive thing is that you were able to accomplish all of that before your girlfriend turned 30. I mean, it’s just insane. Leo, I’m sorry I made that joke. It’s cheap. You know what? I tried not to, but we don’t know anything else about you, man,” she pointed out. “There’s nothing else. Open up. I’m serious. I looked. I searched. The most in-depth interview you’ve ever given was in Teen Beat Magazine in 1991. Is your favorite food still pasta, pasta, and more pasta? Look it up. That’s real.” He nodded.

Next for Glaser’s focus was Sean Penn, noting, “Everyone in this town is obsessed with looking younger. Meanwhile, Sean Penn is like, ‘What if I slowly morph into a sexy leather handbag?’ It’s hot. It’s good. Sean, I love you. Not only such an amazing actor, but you’re such a devoted humanitarian. I mean, I feel like a lot of actors talk the talk, but Sean Penn will actually go to the places in the world that need help the most, and he will do cocaine there. And I feel like we don’t celebrate that at all. And Sean, I did get permission to tell that joke from your two best friends, Charlie Sheen and El Chapo. So they say hi.”

She then talked about Sinners, in which Michael B. Jordan played twins, with another joke she apologized for: “We got two Michael B. Jordans. When I saw that I was like Nikki B. Jerking because that was awesome. I’m sorry, Michael. Why did I make that joke? I know your mom. I’m so sorry. I should not have said that to you. That should have been a DM.”

Glaser then focused on the Wicked sequel, or as she called it, “Wicked For Money. … Once again, Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande gave us two career-defining performances. I mean, it was so emotional. I mean, two hours into that movie, I was just in tears, ‘I can’t believe there’s 45 minutes left.’ It was just like too much. I’m kidding. A little long, but I loved it. And Ariana, I would listen to you sing the phone book. Grab the one Kevin Hart’s sitting on tonight. I’m sorry, Kevin. I can’t stop. It’s a problem.”

To close out her monologue, Glaser did take a moment to praise those in the room as well as get a few last zingers in. “Guillermo del Toro, keep making weird monster sex movies. And James Cameron, keep making weird monster sex movies. Emma Stone and Yorgos Lanthimos, keep making wonderfully bizarre movies together and go harder. I want Emma Stone playing a piece of toast with epilepsy. You would nail it. …. Paul Mescal and Jacob Elordi, keep being the same person to my mom. … And lastly, Steve Martin and Martin Short, keep proving to us that in this industry, you are never, ever too old to still need money.”

What did you think of Nikki Glaser’s opening monologue at the 2026 Golden Globe Awards? Let us know in the comments section below.