Actor Jack Merrill Has Theory Why Serial Killer John Wayne Gacy Let Him Go

[Warning: This article contains descriptions of sexual abuse.]

John Wayne Gacy has once again returned to the spotlight thanks to Peacock’s limited series Devil in Disguise: John Wayne Gacy, which revisits how the infamous serial killer was finally caught and honors the lives of his victims. Arrested in 1978 and convicted two years later on 33 counts of murder, Gacy was executed in 1994 after years on death row.

Among those who crossed paths with the killer and lived to tell the tale is Law and Order alum Jack Merrill , who was abducted and sexually assaulted by Gacy when he was just 19 years old. Decades later, Merrill shared his story in a one-man play titled The Save, which premiered in October 2024. The performance recounts how he met Gacy — and ultimately survived — during that terrifying encounter in Chicago in 1978.

“The whole reason I’m doing The Save is to connect with people in a way that is way different from what most would expect from someone who has experienced what I have,” Merrill told Us Weekly back in October 2024.

In the play, Merrill talked about his childhood and how it prepared him for dealing with Gacy. According to Us Weekly, the actor revealed how his parents were emotionally, physically, and verbally abusive toward him and his sisters. He described his childhood home as an “unhappy and unnerving place.”

“My family gave me some serious tools that I was able to use to defend myself,” Merrill stated.

Des Plaines Police Department/Chicago Tribune/Tribune News Service via Getty Images

He shared similar sentiments in an interview with the Santa Monica Daily Press last year, revealing, “I didn’t get along with my dad or my mom. My mom had a narcissistic personality disorder and an interesting brand of Munchausen by proxy, in a way. When I was 16 years old, I got in a fist fight with my dad on Christmas Eve, left the house, and moved in with the family down the block, which, without a doubt, saved me.”

“I grew up with somebody extremely volatile and dangerous,” he continued. “And that’s why, when people are shocked about how scary it must’ve been, I think, ‘You didn’t grow up with my mom. You don’t know what scary was.’ I was frightened. And then I got to a point where I realized that I don’t have to be scared.”

Merrill met Gacy while walking home one night in 1978, when the serial killer pulled up in his car and offered him a ride home. Merrill said he was drugged and woke up in handcuffs. He was taken to Gacy’s home, where he was sexually abused.

In The Devil in Disguise: John Wayne Gacy, Merrill is depicted as one of the few survivors of Gacy’s violent attacks — a rare voice who lived to recount the horror firsthand. The series treats Merrill’s story with respect and gravity, framing him not as a victim defined by trauma, but as a survivor and witness whose testimony helps illuminate Gacy’s manipulative charm and predatory methods.

“I could tell he didn’t like the others [he abused and killed],” the actor and playwright told Us, explaining how he pretended to take an interest and listened to Gacy to earn his trust. “He wanted to differentiate me. I knew if I listened to him, he wouldn’t hurt me. I had to accept this was normal. There was no other choice.”

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This plan saved Merrill’s life, though it did not protect him from horrific sexual assault. “This is how I lost the final stretch of my innocence,” he said, though he remembered telling himself at the time, “I was going to get through this, I was going to get past this.”

In an interview with People, Merrill explained how, after hours of abuse, Gacy “was tiring” and “All of a sudden he said, ‘I’ll take you home.’”

“He gave me his phone number and said, ‘Maybe we’ll get together again sometime.’ When I got home, I flushed the number down the toilet, then took a shower,” he added. “I didn’t call the police—I didn’t know he was a killer at the time.”

If you or someone you know is the victim of sexual assault, contact the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network‘s National Helpline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

Devil in Disguise: John Wayne Gacy, all episodes now available for streaming, Peacock