Jimmy Kimmel Lists His Top 78 Nicknames for Donald Trump (VIDEO)

Dan Clarendon June 15, 2024, 11:45 am

Jimmy Kimmel, Donald Trump — ABC, Joe Raedle/Getty Images

Jimmy Kimmel marked Donald Trump’s 78th birthday in fittingly unceremonious fashion, listing his favorite 78 nicknames for the businessman-turned-politician — who’s running for president again while awaiting sentencing after his conviction on 34 felony counts.

“Trump had a low-key birthday celebration — he reportedly spent the night at home, quietly spanking himself with a magazine,” Kimmel said on Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Friday, June 14, riffing on Stormy Daniels’ testimony that she used a magazine to spank Trump.

Then Kimmel got to the nicknames. “You know, I have to admit, Donald Trump has given a lot to our show, and I wanted to do something special for him because I know he watches from time to time,” the late-night comedian said.

“Over the last, seems like, I don’t know, 28 years since he got into politics, we’ve come up with a lot of nicknames for Donald Trump. And so in honor of his birther-day, we combed through the archives to bring you our top 78 Donald Trump nicknames of all-time.”

To the tune of “Hail to the Chief,” Kimmel rattled off the monikers, quoted in full below:

Don Whoreleone
Napoleon Bone-Aspur
R. Smelly
Fiberace
Commander-In-Thief
Nostra-dumbass
El Pork-Choppo
MAGA Theresa
All Caps-tain Kangaroo
Rip One Van Winkle
Count Flatula
Founding Farter
Farty-Five
Teddy Dozevelt
Gaseous Clay
Dopey McGropey
Lepre-con man
Al Ca-porn
Julius Squeezer
The Shart of the Deal
His Flatulency
Mayor McCutTheCheese
Groper Cleveland
Sleepy Don-zales
Nelson Tandela
Burger Jean King
Donny Nappleseed
Liger Woods
Unhappy Gilmore
Greedy McGolfy
Yabba Dabba Doofus
His MAGA-sty
Genghis Don
Donnie D Cups
Donye West
Donald Duck the Draft
Kim Don Un
The Notorious P.I.G.
Hair Mussolini
Con-Mander-In-Chief
Phony Soprano
Fattyshack
The Ayatollah Complaini
Presidementia
Stable McGenius
The Tanchurian candidate
Orange Baby Jesus
Refrigerator Perry Mason
Off-Whitey Bulger
Tannibal Lecter
The Not-So-Great Pumpkin
Carrot Bottom
Scammy Davis Jr.
Rich Little Hands
Donnie Cochran
The MAGA-lorian
Vladimir Gluten
HippoPOTUS
Darth Tax Evader
Our Fondling Father
Maroon 45
The Legend of Bragger Vance
Mar-a-Cloggo
The Tan of La Mancha
Butch Casserole
Trumpelstiltskin
MAGATHA Christie
Grab-Ass Grandpa
Orange Julius Caesar
Hungry Hungry Hypocrite
Dictator Tot
Quid Pro Combover
The Lock-Her-Up-ness Monster
General Lie-senhower
Alexander Scamilton
Yelvis
Jabba The Pizza Hut
Pumpkin McPornhumper

“Happy birthday, Mr. Former President! Happy birthday to you!” Kimmel added as he caught his breath and the in-studio audience cheered. “Maybe we do have Trump Derangement Syndrome.”

Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Weeknights, 11:35/10:35c, ABC