‘The Ultimatum’: Roxanne & Antonio Unpack Alex Drama — Are They Still Engaged?
Spoiler Alert
[Warning: The following contains MAJOR spoilers for The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On Season 2 finale and reunion.]
Roxanne Kaiser and Antonio Mattei were much more visibly in love in private moments than in groups in The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On Season 2. Watching the August 30 reunion special might make viewers think their relationship wouldn’t make it (refusing to wear her engagement ring raised a red flag to hosts Nick and Vanessa Lachey and the cast), but in separate interviews with TV Insider following the season’s final release, Roxanne and Antonio were clearly happily in love.
Shacking up with Alex for those three weeks made it clear how good she had it with Antonio, even if his career wasn’t where she wanted it to be (that has changed in the time since filming ended, as Antonio explained in the reunion). Roxanne saw Alex as the guy who had it all: the career, the drive, the confidence. But he lacked emotional intelligence and an ability, ironically, to challenge his own perspective. Coming from a guy who constantly said he wanted a challenge, he seemed to only want a challenge he agreed was worth it (i.e., one that doesn’t point out any of his personal shortcomings).
Kat was stalwart in her belief that Alex wasn’t emotionally cut off in the reunion, and in fairness, she had more firsthand knowledge on that front. But watching that Episode 6 fight and breakup in Roxanne and Alex’s apartment, triggered by the uncomfortable conversation between Alex and Antonio earlier that night, it’s clear that Alex, for whatever reason, was unable to own or even see his part in their trial marriage’s downfall. (Saying that a “mature” and “respectable” woman “would act differently” when Roxanne was rightfully defending herself after Alex’s insulting comments to Antonio was a bad look.)
Roxanne tells TV Insider that dating Alex completely changed her perspective on putting career success at the top of her relationship checklist (and yes, they’re still engaged). “That was the turning point for me with Alex,” she says. “I really liked him. In the beginning, I was like, man, this guy’s got ambition. I’m really attracted to him. I think he’s got the things I’m looking for that would help me settle down if I would consider marriage. The fight, it gave me chills. I hope women do relate to it because I think after that night, I sat there and thought, ‘Was I too much? Was I too aggressive?’ And no, I stood up for myself.”
Courtesy of Netflix
“The priorities definitely shifted after that because there was this guy who was ambitious,” she goes on. “He was already settled into his career. He was ready to go, had all these things I thought were the typical, you-want-this-in-a-guy [traits], and then that’s not really what’s important all the time. Sometimes, you have to follow your heart, and I never ever had thought that way before, truly ever. I thought Alex had the list of things that were good, and the list doesn’t really matter.”
As the experiment taught her, looking good on paper does not make a connection. “Your parents can make a list. Your culture can make a list,” she says. “But at the end of the day, if you don’t break it down and sit there and go through it in your heart and the motions like being on The Ultimatum, you’ll never figure out that list. Sometimes, you have to throw it out the door. Just go with your gut and your heart.”
At Guys’ Night, Alex told Antonio that he didn’t think Roxanne respected him, claiming she made that clear during their time together. Antonio tells us more about that fight, saying his trial marriage partner, Alex’s now-fiancée Kat, wasn’t wrong when accusing him of projecting.
“There’s definitely some truth to that,” he says. “Alex was giving me his opinion, and it happened to just strike a chord with me because my deepest insecurity is having the respect of my partner, just [because of] how much of a badass she is, how successful she is, the life that she leads. And to have my deepest, darkest fear and insecurity just put in front of my face like that it was too much for my fragile little ego to handle in the moment. And I wanted to put that on everybody else except for myself.”
Alex made conclusions about other people but didn’t seem to do much introspection about himself during his first trial marriage, Antonio explains. The lack of self-awareness helped assuage his insecurities initially.
“I had brushed it off initially, and that was because I felt like he wasn’t being genuine,” he explains. “He just wasn’t ever acknowledging his own shortcomings. All he could do was talk about other people. If anything, it just kind of helped me to delay my explosion.”
Courtesy of Netflix
Outside of any Roxanne and Alex involvement, Antonio loved his time in the trial marriage with Kat, whom he says is “one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met in my life, honestly. She’s a great person. She really is.”
“She’s very agreeable, and she kind of acted like a sounding board for me to try out how the changes that I wanted to make in my relationship would look,” he explains of the pros of dating Kat. “I felt like I was in a judgment-free zone, and I felt free to fail. So I just kind of went for it, and I felt like I’m much better for it.”
He hopes he was able to help her process her feelings as well. “I think that [she] and I had a good relationship as far as understanding that it was judgment-free, speak your mind, say how you feel. And I try to push her to speak her mind more,” he says. “I think we both knew that through communicating with each other what our weaknesses were. And we both did a good job of holding each other accountable.”
Speaking of accountability, apologizing to Alex after their kitchen fight was a “huge” moment for Roxanne. “I was happy I said sorry, and I could not believe there was no sorry back,” she shares. “I think in that moment I was like, ‘Nothing? That was it?’ There was nothing to be said after, and it was shocking. But I felt good because that was a huge, huge growth moment for me to apologize after a fight.”
Despite what her reunion comments may make you believe, she’s clearly thrilled to be engaged in this conversation. As she explains, “I’m an independent woman who is engaged, and that’s huge for me.”
The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On, Season 2 Streaming Now, Netflix
