‘Alaskan Bush People’ New Season Premiere Date Revealed

Alaskan Bush People
Discovery Channel

Because the state of the world isn’t bad enough, there is going to be a new Alaskan Bush People season.

Production on Season 12-ish had been underway in Loomis, Bushington, earlier this year when COVID-19 shut things down and sent the Park Slope crew packing. But nothing can stop the Browns, not even a pandemic.

The new season of Discovery Channel’s inane, interminable Alaskan Bush People will premiere with a Lost Footage/recap special on Saturday, August 22, at 9/8c. The Season 12-ish premiere is Sunday, August 23, at 8/7c. Word on the street is that there will be eight episodes this season, and this re-re-re-reanimated corpse of a TV show might still be plodding around for another season after this one.

Over the spring and summer, the Browns have been running around shooting themselves … with cameras or their own smartphones. This self-shot content will be integrated into footage already created and edited by professionals. So if you were wondering if this show could be any more amateurish, the answer is: Oh, hell yes.

Have you seen any of Bear’s Instagrams? Get ready for poorly framed selfies with garish filters applied to them.

Discovery Channel was very pleased with how COVID-19 helped their bottom line. The pandemic saved them a lot in production costs. Why pay actual cameramen and sound guys when you can just mail a GoPro and a tripod to the talent’s house and let them film their own damn show? If you can create something at a fraction of the cost and the audience laps it up anyway, why waste the money on a professionally polished product? Discovery’s already dirt-cheap shows will now be — What’s cheaper than dirt? Sand? — sand cheap.

[DIGRESSION! The problem with Discovery’s strategy is that COVID will (probably) end someday, real TV shows will go back into production and viewers will have other things to watch besides cut-rate, quarantine-generated garbage. By May, I was already sick of low-res Zoom interviews with celebrities who have better furniture than I do.]

Season 11-ish ended with Father Billy, who is battling severe Billy Brown syndrome, convincing Noah and Gabe that they should move further down the mountain and build a big compound that he claims is not for his benefit but totally is.

Meanwhile, Bear and Raiv3n got engaged and lived happily ever after for a week, then spiraled into EXXXXTREME toxicity. Raiv3n gave birth to a son, River. She also gave birth to tons of litigation and accusations of abuse.

The good folks at Alaskan Bush People Exposed have all the latest on what’s really happened while the Browns were busy filming their lives in Magical Bush Fairy Land. This is just the top of the trash heap:

Alaskan Bush People, Season 12 Premiere, Sunday, August 23, 8/7c, Discovery Channel