My Love Letter to a ‘Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Smallz & Raskind/The CW
Rachel Bloom

Dear Rebecca Nora Bunch (aka Rachel Bloom),

Call me crazy, or maybe a stalker—takes one to know one—but I’m over the moon knowing that I won’t have to break up with you now that your delightfully deranged first season of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is ending. Hence this mash note, in the spirit of your own sweet musical missive, “Dear Joshua Felix Chan,” to your on-and-off crush (Vincent Rodriguez III), which included these lyrics: “Dear Joshua, when we frolic, I feel like, and not to be hyperbolic, but I feel like I could die of happiness.”

Hyperbole? Words can barely express the joy superfans like me felt when The CW announced you’d been renewed for a second year, despite ratings that can only generously be described as microscopic. After all, Becs–is it OK if I call you Becs, like your BFF Paula (the uproarious Donna Lynne Champlin)?—the odds were always against us having a long-term relationship. Heck, even before we’d met, you’d been dumped by Showtime (for whom you made your original pilot) until The CW came to the rescue.

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Since then, you’ve put a song in my heart, one twisted ditty after another, revealing your inner damaged romantic-obsessive diva in irreverent arias of delusion (“I Have Friends”), disturbing obsession (“Feeling Kinda Naughty”) and bawdy abandon (“Heavy Boobs”). Keeping up with your mood swings from extremes of tender longing to tyrannically needy lust can be exhausting, but it’s never boring.

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And what a gift to see how your mad exuberance has awakened the sleepy lives of your new West Covina buds, including snarky sometimes-bedmate Greg (Santino Fontana, a direct-from-Broadway treasure) and goofy boss Darryl (Pete Gardner), whose “Getting Bi” celebration of his newfound bisexuality was a series highlight. I know it’s unlikely you’ll ever (as Greg once sang in Fred Astaire mode) “Settle for Me,” but as my fellow Crazy cultists will no doubt agree after watching this week’s rapturously emotional season finale—with none other than Lea Salonga (Mulan, Miss Saigon) belting out a “One Indescribable Instant” anthem—it already feels like a happily-ever-after ending knowing we won’t have to settle for a world without Rebecca.

Yours (if you’ll have me),

Matt (no middle name) Roush

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Season Finale, Monday, April 18, 8/7c, The CW