Bachelor Finale Highlights: Best Ex Ever, Pinterest Explosions, the Mom We Deserve and the Next Bachelorette(s)

The Bachelor Finale
Nicole Kohl/ABC
The Bachelor Finale

Well, one of the best seasons of The Bachelor is over and true TV-financed love has found its way to the far, frigid corners of Iowa, home of hunky Chris Soules—and now, his betrothed, Whitney. Chosen over virginal Becca, the fertility nurse scored a ginormous Neil Lane engagement ring and a 24-carat good guy, who revealed in the After the Final Rose special that he and Whit were ready to start making babies.

Here are a few more things we picked up from the three-hour opus of family visits, sparkly dresses, and nervous deliberations.

Becca is the best ex ever. All she did was praise Chris for helping her grow over the course of the show. We are sure she helped him “grow” in the Fantasy Suite, as well. Also, her teeth-whitening game is on fleek.

Virgins fare as well as women of color on TV dating shows.

Chris’ sisters are pretty damn savvy. Except when it comes to the choices of blush. Likewise, Whitney needs to ditch the pink lipstick. Sephora road trip, ladies!

Chris’ mom = the talk show host we deserve. That woman knows people and speaks no nonsense!

Iowa in the winter looks like a Hunger Games district.

Chris has a muscle-gut. And we approve.

No matter what emotional pain you are in, everything looks better with a collection of candles flickering dramatically behind you.

Chris does not have terrible decorating tastes. His home was clean, masculine and totally not farm-y. Aside from, ya know, the 200-acre farm surrounding it.

THERE ARE TOO MANY COMMERCIALS! Seriously, run your Dancing with the Stars ad as much as you want, ABC. We still don’t care who half those people are.

A few chandeliers, some mood lighting and voila, you’ve turned a murder-porn barn into a romance factory!

Bachelors never realize how hard this is going to be, but they always hope they’re not making a mistake.

Ashley S. is still banana-bread nutty. Just accept Chris Harrison’s Bachelor in Paradise invite and quit being coy, ya whackadoo.

Chris is super smitten. Almost as much as Whitney, who spent the entire season declaring her love. Not that she would know, having not watched the season. Or so she says.

Jimmy Kimmel makes Chris giggle like a dolphin.

Thanks to Kimmel, we can also scratch “cow” off the happy couple’s wedding registry!

The new Bachelorette is…up in the air. Chris’ ousted exes Britt and Kaitlyn will both vie for the spot in The Bachelorette‘s May 18th season opener, and the 25 guys will decide which chick to keep around. One is dreadful. The other is Canadian. You have one job, fellas.